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Open Poetry #20
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I Am (rewrite)
| Open Poetry #20 |
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I Am (rewrite) |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I Am I am like sunlight, embracing with warm delight, And the icy blood river, turning hearts to stone. I am a guiding star in darkest hour, And a false beacon to the lost wanderer. I am shelter in a storm, And desolation in the crowd. I am strength behind life itself, And death to the irrational hopeful. I am the Sun, the Stars and Moon, The Universe and Heaven's door, Or a gate to your personal Hell, Crushing lost souls with innermost fears. I am a seducer of mind, body and soul, Lifting up for starry flight, Or pulling down to Devil's lurid pools. I am an Angel and Demon - Light and Darkness; Past, Present and Future. The silent muse within the poet's heart, The rage of lunacy, The whisper in the wind, singing sweet lullaby, The storm behind words, swift arrows of hurt. I am distance and closeness, Sweetest dream and horrid nightmare, Comfort and grief, happiness and pain, Destiny and yearning desire - despair and salvation. I am the shivering delight of burning passion; I hold a grip upon the fragile heart. I am fantasy and reality. I am the most wanted in life, The solid rock to build your house on; I am Home. I am Life's symphony, Life's secret melody within; I determine your tune. I am to live and die for, For I alone have the power. I am Your heart, Your mind, Your soul. I am you, For you are me, Therefore I am. I am Love. [This message has been edited by Munda (06-09-2002 12:30 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Munda - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
That was awesome. I wish I could write this good. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Munda Obviously a lot of thought went into this and the result was wonderful. A great read. Take care....Sue Suetang |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Hello Munda, This was a poignant read, might I suggest that you add an article like 'a' before seducer, and an 'an' before Angel so the lines flow more easily,..just a thought  [This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-08-2002 09:40 PM).] |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Munda, this is awesome. You write very well. I'm glad I looked at this one. Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Excellent! A terrific balance of what love can provide. For love is truly a balancing act. Applause from the peanut gallery. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A gorgeous write, Munda... thank you for sharing it with us.  ~ poetic hugsLyra |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Wow, I am impressed beyond words. You have taken this poem to a great level of acheivement. Totally, totally in awe here. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Munda This is an exceptional write! Enjoyable from beginning to end! I think ecrivan makes a good point about the flow....Just a minor tweak! Keep up the good writing! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I've made the corrections and hope it reads better now. LOL You have no idea how long I doubted to change it to 'seducer' instead of 'a seducer.' Sometimes a first draft has better lines than the second.  Thanks though. I really appreciate it. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Munda~ A graceful penning~ WONDERFUL ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Good gracious girl, I think you've got it covered...and very well, indeed! You am it! |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Munda, This poem is beyond awesome! I can only say that I wouldn't have expected any less from such a great friend and Fantastic lady. Dawn |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
ah yes. . . all and none. . . both and neither. . . we are all these. . . some more than others. . . well done. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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