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Open Poetry #20
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2002-06-02 08:35 AM


Across the lake where the trees meet the sky
Comes the sunrise to fill my waking eyes.
In the old pine beside the creaking dock
songbirds unwind thier feathered clocks
Into this silent moment tranquil filled
a murmmured whisper breaks the still.
I turn and smile at your quivering face
as your dream comrades fade away
Your eyes open to my connection
your smile speaks recognition.
Then, right then, between the light crowsfeet
where your sunlit emeralds shine to greet
the open passage from this heart of mine
I crave your consciousness by my side.    

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

© Copyright 2002 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2002-06-02 08:41 AM



Oh! Oh! I was going to pick a line, then another, then another, then the whole poem just wouldn't let go!  Do I like this?  NO!  I love it!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-06-02 08:46 AM


...WONDERFUL!!...

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2002-06-02 08:48 AM


Ethome,
Delicious, delicious.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2002-06-02 11:05 AM


Eric

You can make it happen!  I loved this!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2002-06-02 11:20 AM


Karilea...thanks for giving me an "I love it!"  Glad you did.

Enchantress I thnk you so much for that word!

Thank you Seymour so happy you dropped in!

Martie I appreciate your kind words so much!

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
6 posted 2002-06-02 11:21 AM


Ethome, this is just an awesome write here! I love this!

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
7 posted 2002-06-02 11:22 AM


BTW, cool title as well

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2002-06-02 11:25 AM


Thank you Saunni   twice even!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-06-02 01:41 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwww, this is soooooo gorgeous, sweet friend, I too couldn't pick a favorite line, every one of them are wonderful! (cheers in delight) YAY!!! Your gorgeous words of love always make me smile, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Eric, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2002-06-02 04:53 PM


Very beautiful thoughts. What a contented picture this gives.
Sandra

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
11 posted 2002-06-02 10:39 PM


In the old pine beside the creaking dock
songbirds unwind thier feathered clocks
Into this silent moment tranquil filled
a murmmured whisper breaks the still.

This is beautiful poetry, Eric...I wish I were in your poem right now.

~ hugs for brightening my day

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
12 posted 2002-06-02 11:08 PM


Well done!
The last line was beautifully set. ThisDiamond

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
13 posted 2002-06-03 12:20 PM


inspiring write..nature has its ways to instill its reason...thanks for sharing

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-03-2002 12:21 AM).]

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2002-06-03 12:31 PM


Thank you for this morning treat...even though it's early evening here (real time 8:30PM), I can come back and read it again, any time I want, since it's in my library now.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
15 posted 2002-06-03 06:59 PM


'Your eyes open to my connection
your smile speaks recognition.
Then, right then, between the light crowsfeet
where your sunlit emeralds shine to greet
the open passage from this heart of mine
I crave your consciousness by my side.'

If you didn't already know, these lines are awesome...the rhyme and cadence of your writes are spectacular...I love this!

sp        

I've been down this road forever,
and the time has come to circle back home...

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
16 posted 2002-06-03 07:18 PM


Oh Eric this is just magnificent. Each line is totally delicious but these are my favorite:
'...Across the lake where the trees meet the sky
Comes the sunrise to fill my waking eyes.
In the old pine beside the creaking dock
songbirds unwind thier feathered clocks...'

Gosh, I am so calmed by your words.
Hugs, Marti

" My wrinkles are badges of courage and reveal that I am a Mother."

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
17 posted 2002-06-04 02:32 PM


"I crave your consciousness by my side"
~~~~~~~~~~~~`

My favorite line, Eric.
Of course, I loved the whole thing

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2002-06-04 03:00 PM


Thank you Noah......Those are nice thoughts.....but your thoughts generally are very nice!

Sandra....great to hear it made you feel contented....everytime that  happens to me that's the way I feel.

Well MC we'll just have to move over and get you in this poem...I think there's enough room!   Thanks for the comments!

Thanks ThisDiamond I appreciate the kind words!

Thank-you ecrivan, yes, nature does!

Kacy...Glad you dropped in regardless of the time....come back anytime...thanks so much!

Snowpants
Your comments are so fulfilling and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Marti ......I truly thank you so much for the kind words!  Come back again please!

Interloper...I'm glad you could drop in and have a read....thanks!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
19 posted 2002-06-04 03:51 PM


Very fine...James
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
20 posted 2002-06-04 10:00 PM


Hi James.....Thanks I appreciate that!
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