(The facts in this poem are TRUE (with the exception of her getting stopped by the police, which may be happening at any time). Remember, she's out there - she has a drivers license - and she's on OUR roads!
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The cop sat at the corner watching traffic passing by
When, suddenly, a car went by that caught his watchful eye.
The darn car had no driver! There was nobody inside!
The cop stepped on the gas and quickly pulled up alongside.

It must have been a runaway. Someone made a mistake.
They must have parked it on a hill and didn't set the brake!
The cop knew he would have to ram it off the avenue
But, just before he started to, a head came into view!

The cop turned on the siren as the car veered off the road,
Then walked toward the driver's window, ready to explode.
He saw a little lady, squinty eyes but smiling bright
Who said, "Good evening, officer. Is everything alright?"

She was a tiny little thing - perhaps five feet, no more.
He looked and saw her dangling feet did not go to the floor.
Her eyes were squinting like she only saw a foot or two
And he mused she looked like a feminine Mister Magoo.

She said, "I'm Madame Chipmunk, least that's what my man calls me
And you seem very nice so you may call me Madame C.
I'm sorry that I don't have time to chat a little while
But I have friends to visit.", Madame C said, with a smile.

The cop walked to the back and gruffly called out, "You just wait!"
C-H-I-P-M-N-K was on her licence plate!
She did, he thought, resemble one in kinda cutesy way
With those big teeth and turned-up nose and hair in disarray.

She handed him her drivers license...Lyra was her name.
She kept on smiling at him like this was a little game.
He kept a stern look on his face and said, not pleasantly,
"There's something I must ask you, Madame Chipmunk...CAN YOU SEE!?!?!"

"Well, I'm nearsighted in my left,farsighted in my right
So put the two together and I'm normal...am I right?"
The cop choked on saliva as he found it hard to speak..
"I don't think that's the way it works, Miss C", she heard him squeak.

The cop said, "When you passed me back there, now that I recall,
I didn't see a head above the drivers door at all."
She smiled and said, "As you can see my feet don't reach the floor
So, when I have to hit the brake, of course my head dips lower!"

Why me?, he thought. Retirement, you cannot come soon enough!
I've had my fill of chipmunks, dingbats, dipping heads and stuff.
Just let me have a cottage near a small lake, if you please,
Where cars are not permitted and the chipmunks stay in trees!

Instead, he said, with all the courtesy that he could give
"So tell me, Lyra, Madame C..just where do your friends live?"
"At long, long, short, long, short, long,short, short, triple digit bell."
(The cop knew then that he had really died and gone to Hell)

"Say what!?", he bellowed. "I don't understand a wordyou said!"
She gave a patronizing look and sadly shook her head.
"I don't see very well, you know. My eyes are not too strong
But I can tell from street signs if the names are short or long."

"So I'll go past two long-named streets, a short, another long,
A short, another long, a short....did I say something wrong?
I'll turn right at the next short name to the first three digit house
That has a bell above the door - home safely as a mouse!"

The cop was finished - he could take no more - the man was drained.
How could a lowly flatfoot understand the unexplained?
He told her she could leave and so she did, with one last smile
Then he got in his car with thoughts to follow for a while.

She did exactly as she said, passed Mississippi Lane,
Kentucky Avenue went by and then she went past Maine.
California, Iowa, Kentucky, Utah too
Turned right on Texas Lane , just like she was supposed to do.

She found the first three digit house, the one that had the bell
And kids ran out the door as she arrived with happy yells.
She jumped out of the car and hugged them, smiling all the way.
The cop felt wetness in his eyes and slowly drove away.

That night the cop was in his den, just watching some t.v.
When his ten year old came running in and screamed excitedly,
"Hey, dad! I saw a chipmunk in the garden! It was live!!"
Big deal, the cop thought wryly - did ya ever see one drive?