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Open Poetry #20

Your True Colors Revealed

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2002-05-22 05:59 PM

Your true colors were revealed
On the day you said goodbye
How could you be so insensitive
How dare you make me cry

You once told me that you loved me
That we'd be together eternally
But instead of our two sets of footprints
All of a sudden there were three

I had become so unimportant
For you gave your love to someone else
Did you think I'd just sit back
Like a dusty ornament on a shelf?

I am not a fragile little flower
And will not be defeated by you
So I suggest you pack your bags
And simply fade from my view

You took my love for granted
But now I'm taking it away
I'll save my love for one more worthy
Remnants of you will just blow away

Suetang

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2002-05-22 06:16 PM

I remember this intense feeling two years ago..it has drained me..

hugs
M

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2002-05-22 06:45 PM

A strong write...with a lot of resolve
and courage....Stretching our poetic
wings I hope...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2002-05-22 08:47 PM

(big huggssssssss) Oh Sue, I know how hard it must feel to have the courage to say goodbye and sacrifice a love that once thought existed like this! (sigh) Oh Sue, I hope now true love has filled the nest of your heart, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sue, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

elfin_tigress
Member

since 2002-05-15

Posts 101
Someplace

4 posted 2002-05-22 08:47 PM

About the mechanics of the poem: Nice rhyme scheme. The meter is unusual, but I like your daring.

About the sentiment of the poem: Hang in there! I'm very proud of anyone who is brave enough to be willing to say goodbye after such a long period of trust.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

5 posted 2002-05-22 09:01 PM

I know just how this feels.

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