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Open Poetry #20
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A Veil Of Loneliness Phrases challenge Mushy's
| Open Poetry #20 |
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A Veil Of Loneliness Phrases challenge Mushy's |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
A Veil Of Loneliness Draped Over her soul was a veil Opaque it kept out the light And covered her with dark thoughts Of aching throbbing loneliness Feel her yearning towards the Thoughts of happiness That she sees all around her Children laugh And the sound echoes In the chambers of her mind Lost and alone her Spirit meanders In caverns of memories That once glittered And sparkled But now Lie silent except for the Sighing echoes Of her lost soul Beggared by the lost Chance of fate She searches for Something Not knowing what There is no redemption For a soul that Doesn’t know its way Orphaned of hope She waits now alone Wrapped in nights gown Of darkness Waits for a sigh To take her back to Where she left Her soul crying For salvation and A chance to return To when she was free Krissy With some assistance from my mum Mushy But not much, she gave me the phrase, actually she gave the phrase to Auntie Kari and I sort of appropriated it this is the phrase…………… Draping over her soul was a veil of aching loneliness, beggared by the lost chance of fate she waits for something not knowing what And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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| © Copyright 2002 Krissy P J Searle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Young lady...don't you know it's not nice to upset your elders? You don't? Ah well, then, all is forgiven...LOL...you did an excellent job, and the lines your mother lent me should have been yours all along... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Krissy, very well written, carrying the mood well throughout the poem...You are getting pretty good at this poetry thing, but you know that don't you. Surely your Mum tells you that?? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
There is no redemption For a soul that Doesn’t know its way Krissy, you are turning into an accomplished poetess before my very eyes! What wonderful lines you create! Go, girl!!!  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Krissy, this is absolutely beautiful! Wonderful flow and rhythm. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Orphaned of hope She waits now alone Wrapped in nights gown Of darkness You are amazing, Krissy...I can't believe that you just started writing!  ~veiled hugsLyra |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  WOW!!! Oh Krissy, this is absolutely wonderful, sweet friend, you are growing so wonderfully as a poet by leaps and bounds and I know your mom is soooooo proud of you as we all are! (kiss on cheek) I hope soon your sister Emma begins to write too, you are such a wonderfully talented family I know has so much more beauty to share, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Krissy, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"There is no redemption For a soul that Doesn’t know its way" Now why didn't I think of that line? Great writing, Krissy! (Your mum must be positively beaming!) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Krissy, I'm green with envy and you know green is not my colour. Wonderful phrases, I love what you did with them. Much better than mine. Thanks Kari for letting her steal them back although I like what you with them too. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is absolutely splendid Krissy! What a lovely fluid piece. You've captured an ache that I know so very well. Truly, an amazing and emotive piece ... very well done. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kissy Missy, You are a fine poet and I want you to know it. Excellent work. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Krissy, when you presented this to me the first time...i told you it was beautiful, well after reading it a second time...i see i fell short of capturing how it really makes me feel...the ache in this almost leaped off the page at me...your writing is amazing...and i honestly mean that... in just a very short time, you have turned into an incredible poetress...love you! amy "you can't stop |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
This is SOOOO beautiful! I love it! Well done, indeed Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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