Open Poetry #20 |
Memories |
Oceanus Junior Member
since 2002-01-18
Posts 10The Pacific |
When I first lost sight of you, your autumn hat was high riding proud upon your head as you went strolling by. But then the world grew cold and dim and scarcely sight nor sound chanced to light upon my stone so lonely on the ground. Your presence- gone for many years the moss has etched away the crispness from my parting words the dampness from the day. And lying here, I watched the clouds their countenance- the same. As well the same for you, my friend. Our only link of name. [This message has been edited by Oceanus (05-16-2002 07:19 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2002 Oceanus - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Welcome home. A good read...you had my mind wondering the direction, but the path I took was probably my own... Thank you for the direction... |
||
Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
I believe you've managed to reach this reader with your words... lovely! ~tier "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I like this. . . there is indeed a direction here. . . down a road that all have been of, but that few have seen. . . well done. . .and welcome. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
You’ve conveyed the feeling of the memories very well. Reminded me of similar ones of my own. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Beautifully written....a reflection of many. So easily we forget the stone, even as the memories remain... |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I like the idea of countenance clouds and (autumn hats). She said burn ... together. |
||
elfin_tigress Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101Someplace |
Oceanus, this is very beautiful. Your style is very unique, shifting syllables in ways I don't feel comfortable doing yet, and flowing at exactly the right pace. It's almost free-form, but not quite. I like it a lot! If I had criticisms for this poem, I would tell you. But I have none. It certainly inspired me in my latest writing! Thanks! |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh Oceanus, this is sooooo powerfully bittersweet, sweet friend, always harness those memories and engrave them in stone just as I know you will find many more that will again bring joy to your heart soon enough! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Flows like a river...James |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |