Open Poetry #20 |
Amazed |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Amazed She fastened herself to the ground with her eyes, for she had come a long way to sit on this cold bench in the middle of the trees with the sounds of unseen things in leaves, the crash from the place with the fragrance of ice plant, the constant and hypnotic ocean’s rant. She carried a small flashlight, enough to see a bit of dirt and her feet, enough to see the halo of her surroundings, round pieces of tree, all else was dark. She was waiting for a familiar whisper to feather across her, but the sounds her heart made on the wall of her chest were so loud that she was afraid she would miss it. Everything was so different at night, even a dear face could trip and fall on some fear and become brittle, could break the fragile hold she had on love and send it off like a shooting star. She looked up as a flurry disturbed the air and touched a tendril of her hair with a shiver and then he was there beside her in warm sliding and she took a breath of salt and time that was almost like drowning. The moon came from behind doubt to sing, and lit the forest pewter as she turned into his gaze, and all the forest watched, eyes open, amazed, as he wrapped her in his soft enfold and flew away with her love wrapped in his wings. ---------- Dave's not quite so simple and easy as the last one challange |
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© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Martie...challenge or not....this is something to read, and to visualize as one reads it. I am beginning to understand your poetry better, and with each reading... Well...simply said...it gets better and better.... Thanx, Barry |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) YAY!!! Oh my gosh, this is soooooo lovely, sweet friend, just the thought of being enfolded into loves wings and swept away always makes me smile! (kiss on cheek) I've never heard of this challenge but I'm going to go check it out, sweet friend, this is lovely, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Looks like you made it easy enough to me, Martie....a perfect one-act play |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The tone of this a chapter from my heart...I am always so inspired by your infinite grace. ThisDiamond |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
...Enchanting... |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Martie...Fantastic imagery!!!!! Very vivid and emotionally embued. ***Ivy Rose |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
challenge met, indeed. great write, dear lady. our honor is brightened, as people used to say, back when people said things like that. -Dave |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
well penned ms martie enjoyed the images looking up the sky the way you do |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A superb write An exrardinary pen Exquisite, your mind Liz |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I haven't yet checked out Dave's challenge...but something tells me you did it just right! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Your poetic visions invariably leave me utterly AMAZED, dear friend... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, You did it again. Loved it. Sy |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Martie darling girl OH MY! Such an outstanding and wonderful piece of writing, I’ve read fabulous pieces from you before this is simply stunning. Truly you’ve outdone yourself darling girl. This simply flows with the beauty of it all, wonderful in it’s language usage. Excellent writing from you absolutely excellent Love and warm stuff As always Mushy |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Everything was so different at night, even a dear face could trip and fall on some fear and become brittle, could break the fragile hold she had on love and send it off like a shooting star. She looked up as a flurry disturbed the air and touched a tendril of her hair with a shiver and then he was there beside her in warm sliding and she took a breath of salt and time that was almost like drowning. The moon came from behind doubt to sing, and lit the forest pewter as she turned into his gaze, and all the forest watched, eyes open, amazed, as he wrapped her in his soft enfold and flew away with her love wrapped in his wings. ================================ yes...amazed is the perfect word....one that comes to mind so often when reading your images and expressions.... this is one of those times. stunning story telling Martie. When your own emptiness is all thats getting through |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
What a very lovely poem, Martie, very gentle smile. Could not have been better... |
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Cirrus Member
since 2002-05-12
Posts 55 |
and then he was there beside her in warm sliding and she took a breath of salt and time that was almost like drowning. Wow Martie, these 3 lines are my favourite, love the imagery. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yr words continue to grow in my mind long after I've read 'em. Then I get new flowers from you. She said burn ... together. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
The moon came from behind doubt to sing, and lit the forest pewter as she turned into his gaze, and all the forest watched, eyes open, amazed, as he wrapped her in his soft enfold and flew away with her love wrapped in his wings. Amazing, Martie... ~loads of hugs Lyra |
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