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Open Poetry #20
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The Popsicle man
| Open Poetry #20 |
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The Popsicle man |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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a quarter, two dimes and a nickel, the small girl clutched tight the sound of the Popsicle man in the distance promise played the pied piper she excitedly chased it her hunger and emptiness drawing her ever forward down one lane and another after another until finally one day she pushed a graying strand of hair out of her eyes pocketed the money and went home |
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| © Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Nice poem about losing youth and gaining responsibilities. I can't imagine a better symbol than someone brushing back gray hair and pocketing the money for something more apparent. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
smart move little girls shouldn't follow popscicle men and pied pipers LOL!! hehe... hey girl... good to see you.... nice write here, as usual i always enjoy your work  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, do I like this one! WOW! This is real writing to me...to say so much in so few lines in such and intriguing way..so many lives are wasted by waiting for the Popsicle man or following the Pied Piper...I LOVE the way you constructed this one! Want a candy bar, sweetie?  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) This is such a wonderful poem, sweet friend, your thoughts are always so true and descriptive, I too find it somehow insufficient to go chasing after people such as that when you have no clue what you're bargaining for! (sigh) This is outstanding, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The tune that truck played still rolls in the mind of my childhood. Interesting to think of, jellybeans...how the things of importance change. Enjoyed! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thank you all.....how funny, I really wasn't happy with my muse leaving this poem as is, and *I* wanted to edit it...but she refused to help me so it stayed as is...I though it too simple...I see so many complex poems filled with imagery and I find mine lacking...am really glad you enjoyed thank you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You may find yours lacking... but I dern sure don't! LOL Geesh... you got the legs AND the talent... where's the fairness??? *G* On the other hand, I'm number one O&O and I get to read what you write... so I think I got the best deal. *S* I like this one so very much, lady. *S* |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Yeah, what Balladeer said! This is unbelievably strong writing! Never before have I seen a poet perfect a metaphor like you have. This blows me away, and my gawd, do I ever relate. All your muse seems to be lacking is some confidence, because trust me, you have talent! This is a keeper~ Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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