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Open Poetry #20
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Elan
Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382
State of Wide Eye

0 posted 2002-05-06 05:17 PM



Sun & Moon

Golden beams of Sun,
Ancient goddess of wonder,
Gazed upon orb of blue
And dressed it in her light,

All of nature
Welcomed her,
All but man…

Her smiling face warmed
Some hearts
She brought forth in radiance
Land’s delights,
But pleased man
Only briefly…

“Give me the Night,” said man
“Allow me rest,
For I am weary, and
Would lay my weight down.”

Sun said,

“May all stars embrace you
In their net of wonder,
Bestowing their glow
Of night’s enchantment
Over your weary shoulders,
And may you dream
The dreams of the
Just.”

Then, Sun faded.

Moon came, pale, and ghostly
Casting shadows
cool mists,
And seemingly was to never end.

Man rested, but then awoke
With a start
For the birds were not to come
Nor rivers to run
Nor tides to touch the shore
For without the Sun,
There was no ebb and flow
And only dark
Encompassed all.

Man became afraid.  There was no
Light to his path, and he stumbled
And fell, and grew cold, and sad.

Man demanded of Moon,

“Give the Sun
Back her sky!  Allow
Her warmth to return
That I may hear
The songbird once more,
Before I die,
And rest eternally!  For then,
And only then, would I want your
Face in mine, again.”

Moon hesitated, holding fast
To the stars and the black glitter of
Velvet night, and shone brighter,
Trying to trick man
Into allowing him stay.

“Man in the Moon!  Give me Sun back!
My bones grow too cold, and I would
Have her light my face once
More with her tender
Warmth!”

The moon waned,
And fell from the sky,
Leaving but a fingernail
Behind, to beckon, and
Greet the blood-red rise
Of Sun’s return.

And to this day, Man
Awakes, and smiles
With the Dawn, and shakes
Off the cold of night.


© Copyright 2002 Elan - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2002-05-06 05:20 PM


This is very very good...guide you....heh!
You give lessons with this one...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2002-05-06 05:30 PM


Elan

I am very fond of sunshine..Loved the story in this.  You write with grace!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-05-06 06:51 PM


Sun said,

May all stars embrace you
In their net of wonder,
Bestowing their glow
Of night's enchantment
Over your weary shoulders,
And may you dream
The dreams of the
Just.

Then, Sun faded.

Moon came, pale, and ghostly
Casting shadows
cool mists,
And seemingly was to never end.

Man rested, but then awoke
With a start
For the birds were not to come
Nor rivers to run
Nor tides to touch the shore
For without the Sun,
There was no ebb and flow
And only dark
Encompassed all.
=========================

Elan...this is as elegant as your name...
a celestial sigh...lovely, lovely writing poetess...truly.
jm

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-05-06 07:19 PM


Élan darling girl oh my word this is just too too gorgeous, should writing ever be this perfect? Beautiful writing, absolutely beautiful
Do you have to really write this well darling girl? Hmmm? Is it fair to be such a good writer when I can’t manage to soar on the wings of soul Hmmm? I forgive you because this is utterly utterly perfect.

Absolutely perfect darling girl an elegant and seamlessly flow of sunlight and star shadow, but what else can I expect from someone called Élan.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy



To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

[This message has been edited by Marsha (05-06-2002 07:21 PM).]

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2002-05-06 07:35 PM


The moon waned,
And fell from the sky,
Leaving but a fingernail
Behind, to beckon, and
Greet the blood-red rise
Of Sun’s return.

Elan - this is soooo good!! Love it. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-05-06 08:02 PM


A wonderful tale in verse. What inspired this one?

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (05-06-2002 08:02 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2002-05-06 08:52 PM


Elan, this is absolutely incredible!
I loved every line of every stanza!
Your writing is flawless and exquisite!
~Hugs, Nancy~

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2002-05-06 08:57 PM


Elan~
Welcome to Passions~

This is a lovely piece of writing~
The form made for a captivating read~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-05-06 09:22 PM




YAY!!! Oh Elan, this is absolutely wonderful, sweet friend, I love it! (big hugggssssss) Your words of wisdom and imagery light these pages, sweet friend, this is amazing, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
10 posted 2002-05-07 12:30 PM


A beautiful story of night and day.  Love your imagery!

Shenachie

Elan
Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382
State of Wide Eye
11 posted 2002-05-07 09:26 AM


Yes, Magnus, please, guide me...I have a lot to learn...thank you so much for your heh comment...smiling here...

Martie, we need both, the Sun & Moon, and should never ask for one over the other, and always be careful in what we ask for to begin with...thank you so much for reading...

JanetMarie...I hope you will come to find that it takes a lot of work to maintain any name...and I hope you continue to come in to read...thank you!

Marsha, your exuberance is only matched by your friendships, and you seem to have many of them...thank you so much for the applause...it is a very, very kind sound...

Nightshade, I am so glad you liked that particular line, because I do not know where it came from, but it seemed to fit....thank you!...

bsquirrel - where did it come from?  The answer is probably somewhere in the heavens, for I know not, but that a friend slipped one or two words my way, and said "see what you might do with this..." Thank you for your gracious time in reading...

Enchantress...indeed, my dear, I have a long way to go before it pleases my critical eye, but I do see a vast array of poets around me who do write poetry so well, and this makes for a very good home...thank you!

Marge, your words alone would inspire anyone to write...thank you for your generosity...

Noah, thank you so much for your enthusiasm!

Shenachie...sometimes imagery is all we have...thank you so very much!

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