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Appetite Lost
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Appetite Lost |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach 
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Our favourite table for two had been moved, setting me on early edge. Your chair wobbled as you sat making too obvious your imbalance. The rolls were as stale as our forced conversation. When I asked you for water to quench my thirst, You lifted the sweating pitcher to reveal a bold wine stain, ruining the once spotless tablecloth. As obvious as the scarlett smear of infidelity you thought my adoration would overlook. Awkwardly you knocked over my goblet. But, it had already been drained. Not only were you inept at having a discreet affair, You were also uneducated in erasing moral blemishes. So much for dessert.... Check please!!! Chris B. March 2002 |
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| © Copyright 2002 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The title makes me think of Paradise Lost, and then the poem is smart and funny even when it's sad. I really enjoyed this. Keep the change. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
bsquirrel - funny you should say that..Paradise Lost....I was thinking the same thing when I wrote this. How quickly our "paradise" can be lost amongst the crumbs under the table. Thanks  Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Chris - very potent write. Telling it like it is... Very well done my friend... BC |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Chris - very potent write, and to the point. Well done my friend... BC |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Bill - thankyou so much..twice?! lol. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Chris, this is wonderfully bittersweet, sweet friend, I just love the way you write of true life experiences so well, the transitions of this piece are incredible, as though the appetizer is nervousness then the main course is a shock then the dessert is contaminated with grief! (big hugggssssss) I love this, sweet friend, this is excellent, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oh, sweet Noah, I can always count on you to make me smile. Thankyou. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
Pass the afterdinner mints . . . the real strong ones! Nicely woven. \\ |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Chris....one word....WWWWWOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! This is strong...excellent... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
wandering-I might have an Altoid or two. lol. Thanks for reading and commenting. Magnus - thankyou kind poet for liking this. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
As obvious as the scarlett smear of infidelity you thought my adoration would overlook. =============================== quite a impactuous image and metaphor... made a lasting impression... you cleverly worked this theme to the bitter end... well done poetess Chris! ... and I don't know why ... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Janet Marie - your comments are very much appreciated - thankyou. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
As obvious as the scarlett smear of infidelity you thought my adoration would overlook. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Whoa Chris! So glad I decided to pop into Passions tonight! This is one cool write little sister! I love it! Keep'em comin'! Hugs and love ya, Teed. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
NancyLee - there you are!! I have been missing you ever since I returned from our too short of visit. Thankyou for reading and commenting. luv ya!! Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ouch...this hurts, but I feel strength in your words..that's a good thing. Enjoyed! |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Chris~ Very, Very Powerful.....I enjoyed much....be well...HUGSSSS Lauren~ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks Martie - Did ya ever get the feeling you could just dump the whole darn dining table onto someones lap....lol....just kidding!!!  Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Check please is right..loved it Chris..hugs..nicely penned.. ~Victoria |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Lauren - oops, didn't see you pop in there! Thankyou so much. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Victoria - thankyou so much for commenting. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Oh girl...You are it here. This verse says more than I could possibly say..Just know that I had that same meal at that same table once..It was lousy then and I wasn't near as graceful as your words.. HUGS..for this one. Sincerely, Reg |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
rwood - having you comment on my small offering means more to me than you know. Thankyou. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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