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Open Poetry #20
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Endurance waning
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Endurance waning |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Be brief in your goodbye trust me there’s nothing we’ve forgotten to say at least a thousand times Did I ever compliment you on your talent for professing love as the frigid water poured over my face shocking the breath from me Is it not enough that you bleed my veins of oxygen must I also endure your voice as I drown |
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| © Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Did I ever compliment you on your talent for professing love as the frigid water poured over my face shocking the breath from me Is it not enough that you bleed my veins of oxygen must I also endure your voice as I drown =============================== oh damn........................ (I hear the air is easier to breathe up North.) heart-hugs D. mothyme ... and I don't know why ... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Wow! Powerful and packing a punch! Nicely said Duncan....Seems you won that round for sure... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Duncan, I am not even going to try to chose my favourite lines or stanzas here.... let's just say this piece aches so bad... I can hear your cry all the way up here. Fantastic feelings poured out here! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I've never seen "insult to injury" described so well! Awesome, Duncan  |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Duncan, I pretty well echo Janet's reply..along with a WOW. Very powerful. Hugs, Tara "My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read" |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Ouch, this stings. Some people just don’t know when to say goodbye huh? Been there, done that, gotta a couple t-shirts. Want one? They’re going cheap!! Lol If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This one really bites. OUCH! Do you need a big bandaid hug? |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Did I ever compliment you on your talent for professing love as the frigid water poured over my face I'm gonna quote you here~ "Damn" Duncan!!! This made my heart bleed!!! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ouch. Knife-y write. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
... i wish i would have had this a couple of years ago. the fit of this is too perfect to be comfortable. an excellent, brief (justly so) jab to the heart. EXCELLENT. Chris (ps - she's probably a redhead, right?  ) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ok, one more - a more perfect ending to a poem i've never seen. wow, damn, and all the other sentiments mentioned above. Chris (again) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ok, i lied, one more thing (last one, i promise lol) i was wondering how it would look if you didn't center it. (personal taste is all, not too fond on non-rhyming poems (haha) being centered. Be brief in your goodbye trust me there’s nothing we’ve forgotten to say at least a thousand times Did I ever compliment you on your talent for professing love as the frigid water poured over my face shocking the breath from me Is it not enough that you bleed my veins of oxygen must I also endure your voice as I drown thanks for your indulgence Chris |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
MUCH better. (think about it) going now...  (best poem i've seen in a long time) |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Hey Christopher Best response(s) I've gotten in a long time. lol Believe it or not, she's a blonde. The redhead is much nicer and somehow I can't imagine ever wanting her to say goodbye. I'll have to get back to you on the centering thing...considering, though. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Whew,what a hurtful goodbye that sounds. I'm with you, Duncan,how muh can you take, after all. Glad the redhead works better for ya. Sandra |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Duncan, I'm with the 'Deer on this one. What a powerful poem. And it appears Christopher is right. Well done. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Duncan, this is soooooo very heartaching, my heart goes to you and I hope everything is alright and now you no longer have to ever endure goodbye and am always welcomed by true love you deserve so so much to last forever! (sigh) This is sad but powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sahring!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow, you leave me speechless....the effect this has would drop one to their knees....or at least it would knock the wind out of me...wow.....excellent!!! |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
My my Mr. Duncan...how harsh the voice of rejection can turn. Extremely well done, but I must say...I Do favor your romantic side. |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Duncan, I find everything that you write is romantic. Heart's joy, heartache, humor. Oh no, do you think that I am developing a crush? Shenachie |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
wanted to bring this back up - still one of the best poems i've read in a while Chris |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
it not enough that you bleed my veins of oxygen must I also endure your voice as I drown I think anger becomes you, Duncan..... A very thought provoking write.  ~thoughtful hugsLyra |
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