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Open Poetry #25
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2003-02-24 12:05 PM



Back To Back

Icoveryoucoverme
Under this kaleidoscope of crows and clouds,
back to back in a blather of winter sticks and weeds,
this field in which we are alone.

Icoveryoucoverme
Your voice almost a comfort,
back to back, wind jerking at the words as we stand trading
our faces for a thread of safety and a little warmth.

Icoveryoucoverme
You see the darkness at the treeline,
back to back, I see dark, treeline, sticks and weeds,
your voice, the jerking wind, the words, the crows, clouds.

Icoveryoucoverme
If we could run, could each run
back to back, two parting hemispheres toward the treeline
and what between? Move closer at the thought.

Icoveryoucoverme
Twin shells, a single nameless formless creature holding
back to back in this field, this winter sticks and weeds
jerking wind kaleidoscope of crows and clouds.


© Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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1 posted 2003-02-24 12:06 PM


Ed...An amazing poem!
regards2you
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2 posted 2003-02-24 12:10 PM




Ed,

OMGosh! This is so creative, I just re-read for the fun and pleasure and magnificence of it.

I don't want to take away from the awesomeness of this poem, but can't help but comment how much I love the word: "blather"....

Enjoy this greatly, such talent!'

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Sunshine
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3 posted 2003-02-24 12:19 PM


and what between? Move closer at the thought.

~*~

Questions within questions...

I like the idea of this, I like the sound of this.  I would enjoy hearing you read this aloud.

garysgirl
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4 posted 2003-02-24 12:25 PM


Me too, Karilea....

I'll bet you have a very strong reading voice, with a poetic touch of your pronunciation of words.......

Oh, and I had to read this over again, too....just because....

Hugs,
Ethel

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5 posted 2003-02-24 12:30 PM


wonderful read!
Enchantress
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6 posted 2003-02-24 01:40 PM


Icoveryoucoverme....
what a wonderful feeling those words
running together gave this reader!
I love this!!  Therefore I'm keeping it.
~Smiles, & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Seymour Tabin
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7 posted 2003-02-24 01:44 PM


Ratleader
Well done, enjoyed the read.

Ratleader
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8 posted 2003-02-24 02:27 PM


Hi folks -- this one's a bit of a departure for me. I was a bit afraid folks wouldn't like it, so it's something of a relief to hear that you did.

Yeah, garysgirl, I do love to read stuff, feel my voice come back at me off the far wall of the room..... Bass voices tend to be a little soft, but I can project just fine....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
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Cpat Hair
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9 posted 2003-02-24 02:58 PM


very nice Ed... the imagery and idea well presented...

yes... one for voice not just the mind to hear...

good stuff..

Martie
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10 posted 2003-02-24 08:39 PM


library addition
Mistletoe Angel
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11 posted 2003-02-24 08:46 PM




(smiles) Oh Ed, I just love your style, sweet friend, this just comes together so well and the crows and clouds swirled as you spun back to back! (big hugggssssss) This is truly a dizzying charmer, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ed, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Dr.Moose1
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12 posted 2003-02-24 09:06 PM


Ratleader,
Good stuff. You've a rather unique perspective that catches the ear as well as the eye. I will follow for a time.
Doc

Ratleader
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13 posted 2003-02-24 09:28 PM


See, fellas? I told ye I wouldn't go soft.....

Yo, Doc -- coming from you that's praise indeed.

Hi, MA -- glad you liked it. It's a different kind of beauty than you like to show, but everything's a picture show in this world.

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garysgirl
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14 posted 2003-02-25 02:15 AM



Martie
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15 posted 2005-10-27 12:44 PM


Hi Ed

I was looking around in my library and read this poem again and wanted to tell you again how much I like it!!  

suthern
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16 posted 2005-11-30 10:05 AM


Back in the days when this was first posted, I was literally left speechless by your talent... so in awe of your words that I lacked coherent syllables. I was a cat in the presence of a king... peeking from a safe corner... purring at poetic perfection.

But silence, however awe-inspired, gives nothing back to the poet... I apologize for those days of taking, absorbing... I didn't even whisper thanks. *S*

I whisper it now as your words transport me again... this is magnificent!

Ratleader
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17 posted 2005-11-30 01:17 PM


Dear lady, I wish you'd known how very much I value comments on my work...sometimes they're the only thing that keeps me going, and even when they're not I read every response with eagle eyes, looking for hints that will help me make my writing better.

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Marge Tindal
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18 posted 2007-01-31 01:28 PM


Ed~
I doubt it could get a heck of a lot 'better' than this .. but, knowing you, undoubtedly it will (and has)~

BEAUTY ... soft, soft beauty~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

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