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Open Poetry #25
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Sweating Memories
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Sweating Memories |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York 
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She cries blood tears fall soft and silent pennies from Heaven cling inside of my pockets listen to the chimes porcelin clickety clink whispering wind beside her singing lullaby to soothe the weeping constant copper bittersweet biting reality she cries the sky drip dropping blotted pains of past stain my window clouds hold hands old friends eternalized in tune with this display of parade of last charade of sweating memories [This message has been edited by littlewing (04-12-2003 05:04 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon |
This poem is so vivid and magical, i really liked what i saw in my minds eye when i read it, thank you for sharing i enjoyed  ~Talia |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
There's a lot can be said about memories ... some times moods can say it as well as words nice read |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hi Sue  It's very sad that along with the happy, refreshing, good memories......are hard, disturbing, tormenting, bad memories. Those are the ones that I want to open up my mind and get rid of. I understand this completely, my friend.  Heart Hugs, Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (04-12-2003 08:44 AM).] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
This is...oh man...i can't even speak...This is wonderful and is definitly going in my private library!!!!!! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
littlewing - your talent writes from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sad write it seems, but well written as you do... BC |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...this is a poem that really takes you on an inward journey. Thanks. Eric |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"drip dropping blotted pains" This line stood out for me, you managed to incorporte a lot of poetic tools in one wee description. You have alliteration, assonance, and I always forget that other word (for a word that sounds like the thing it defines) but yes all of this is in those four words, which could have easily been overkill but for the constrasting "pains", which kept the rhythm, but didn't go for an obvious cheap rhyme--so it WORKS for me! Hugs, sweet sue, you keep bringing 'em on, and I will keep reading. Love ya sis! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
littlewing This is no little thing, enjoyed. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
You get better and better you know that? More importantly more creative with each one, more daring with your choice of words and structures..me likes it |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you know I can relate to this one...beautifully sad |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed this much |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Talia - thank you - was looking for that edge Rex - thank you - yes memories a window of the soul Ethel - yes I know you understand - wish you didnt - thank you KoKo - what a compliment! Thank you Bill - thank you so much - hahaha one end to the other - all over the place I be TY Ericc - thank you - yes inside for sure K - thank you so much - I know I need work -I am trying - thank you - please keep reading - and commenting - I need it - that line . . . hehehe wondered about it myself - love ya too sis *smile* Sy - so good to see you reading - thank you so much Raph - thank you so much - coming from you that means a lot because you brought me here and helped me to begin writing again - thank you xxoo Dixie - thank you - so true you are to reading - I always look for you here xxoo vandana - thank you so much! Thanks guys xxoo |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
littlewing~ Visions of yesterday softly spoken. Enjoyed...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thank you Paul - love to see you reading me always xxoo |
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