Open Poetry #25 |
What is this pain? |
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
What is this pain, this jagged and frozen emotional rain? Its sharp edges shred any remaining reserves; its chill reaches my marrow. The depths of my foundation are quaking. What is this void that's rebirth shrieks, echoing in its emptiness? This loneliness wants a definition - demands recognition. This pain insists I tape the crumpled page back into the book. What is this feeling that refuses evaluation? What is this shaking that knows not its own name nor from whence it came? Can the closing of my eyes force it to be a dream that departs upon my waking? Love is dead, this I know. I wrote the words carved upon the gravestone. Love is dead, for my heart has told me so. Love is dead, it visits me not. Love is dead. Isn’t it? [This message has been edited by jellybeans (04-09-2003 10:33 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
isn't this the worst type of pain because it never really leaves? Very well done! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
yes it is, and no it doesn't....thank you brad, your comments always encourage me to continue writing |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This pain is so deep...I remember it well. ~Hugs to you~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JellyBeans~ 'this pain that insists I tape the crumpled page back into the book' Oh my ... I have known this pain~ Don't ever want to know it again~ It seeps sometimes, even from a closed book~ Heart-felt penning~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
I felt this: Love is dead, this I know. I wrote the words carved upon the gravestone vivid - incredible write - & I can definately relate - . . . all that we see is but a dream within a dream . . . [This message has been edited by dreambuilder (04-08-2003 09:02 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
jellybeans...it hurts to read this...understand this emotion..but even though...love is. I know this! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this is like a "falling down on knees" kind of pain...this aches...hugs to you and know that I can relate. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Love is dead, for my heart has told me so. Love is dead, it visits me not. Love is dead. Isn’t it? Is it? well done...and a thoughtful write that perhaps is insight into our own denials |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
Enchantress thank you…love can be kind and can be cruel….sigh Marge, thank you lady….we have suffered and we have endured…to our credit God has given us grand babies…..so I guess we are doing something right *smile* dreambuilder….thank you so much….it is a hard pain to relate to Martie…..love you lady…thank you so much dixie…yes, it is, and yes I know…..hugs back cpat…..you always read the inner me…..the one I think I hide…your perhaps is correct thank you my friend have made a few edits and will post here, as the original has been quoted...thank you to all... What is this pain? What is this pain, this jagged and frozen emotional rain? Its sharp edges shred any remaining reserves; its chill reaches my marrow. The depths of my foundation are quaking. What is this void that’s rebirth shrieks, echoing in its emptiness? This loneliness wants a definition, it demands recognition. This pain insists I tape the crumpled page back into the book. What is this feeling that refuses evaluation, this shaking that knows not its own name nor from whence it came? Can the closing of my eyes force it to be but a dream that departs upon my waking? Love is dead, this I know; I carved the words on the gravestone. Yes Love is dead; my heart has told me so. Love is dead I declare; this unearthly haunting merely further witness. Love is dead, I whisper to no one apparent… isn’t it? [This message has been edited by jellybeans (04-09-2003 03:04 PM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like the edits... especially near the end. *S* But both versions are heartwrenching and powerful... both leave the reader with an ache and an emptiness and questions of our own. *S* Even if one love isn't, others are. *S* And a heart that can share so much love with others even as it's being ripped apart is a jewel... it's very vulnerability is testament to its capacity. Excellent work! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Makes me think of that moment when you finally realize that you are in love all by yourself... Do you still love them if they don't love you? If you decide that indeed you do then you have set yourself up for lots of pain and sorrow...because instead of dealing with it in the moment you have prolonged the pain. And if you do what does it matter to them...does love have any value if the other person doesn't want it? Why would we want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with us? We can't make someone love us...some relationships work out and some don't...the best we can do is put our love back in our pocket and prepare ourselves for new opportunities...James |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
loved the ending... it leaves you open to Love again |
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