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Open Poetry #25
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in the grease
| Open Poetry #25 |
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in the grease |
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Drexler_McStyles Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 195Venice, Ca |
I woke up one morning with nothing to say the crows were crawing from power pole perches puzzled by the sun I stood in the shade and followed a trail of ants working maniacally around a lake of soda syrup I had nothing to say to the blonde skirt posing with indifference unaware of the dust settling on her style the cars shuffling along didnt seem so different from the ants only a difference in size made them distinguishable from one another and I had nothing to say to any of them [This message has been edited by Drexler_McStyles (04-08-2003 10:26 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Steven Doherty - All Rights Reserved | |||
Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
This piece is so brilliant. I love this piece. We live in a world that froms on inviduality. Very well done! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Great piece, adding it to my growing collection. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh yes. on mornings like that? I drink coffee as tho it can make me care... on mornings like that? A caffiene rush will suffice. You have an incredible style that is stark, yet full of emotion in the void--reminds me a bit of the distant proximity of "Nothing Less Than Zero"--er, brad, whathizzname?---but this was all fuzz mouthed cotton and too much sun too soon. now...where's my raybans?  |
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Drexler_McStyles Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 195Venice, Ca |
I think you mean Brett Easton Ellis, yeah I could see that, he portrays the undercarriage of the world pretty clearly...Its funny, I can work on a peice for 5 hours and then this one just spills out in 10 seconds, funny how the process varies from moment to moment Steven |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yeah, that's the one. I've got a rotten memory on some things. It's bloody infuriating at times. But your poetry is a lot like that surrealistic realism that he captured in that. (Grin, I do know what I'm talking about, just not EXACTLY what I'm talking about, yanno?)  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Very nice. You captured the moment in depth and clarity. I like the way you moved the poem by swinging from groups to singles and back, each change bringing a new dimension. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I like the view from you pen. You do this well |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Steven - yessss - know this - sometimes I dont say anything at all . . . xxoo |
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