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Black Swan
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 165
on the moon

0 posted 2003-04-08 02:00 AM

when u leaned down to kiss me
u caught me in the moment that i feared
and when i finally let go
i looked up and saw u had disapeared

and then i knew
freedom wouldnt come to easily
and since im thinking
your memories are alive in me

i ve tried to banish this fate
hate to love and feel this way
over someone whos never coming back
oh how i wish you'd come back

when u smiled and said your happy
so scared that it might change
frightened sabotage gave me away
and then u played along
when i played our song

and im still listening to it

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-04-08 07:09 AM

the feelings well presented here..and though ones of sadness... enjoyed the way you delivered them.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2003-04-08 07:55 PM

BlackSwan~
I greatly enjoyed the tenderness of the thoughts~
Welcome to Passions~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2003-04-09 10:33 AM

A sad, swan song.... beautifully expressed.

Warm hugs,
EA

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-04-09 10:36 AM

Even though this is a sad poem,
you expressed your
emotions and heart very well.
Hugs,
Ethel

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2003-04-09 01:40 PM

nice but you may need to correct

you're happy and
come too easily

M

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

6 posted 2003-04-09 01:43 PM

Other than some spelling stuff....this is really good!!!! Enjoyed very much!!!!
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

7 posted 2003-04-09 03:26 PM

i loved this one. theres was lots of emotion here. keep loveing and keep writing hope to see you agian soon

<--- hehe funny

[This message has been edited by Deep_Inside (04-09-2003 03:27 PM).]

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

8 posted 2003-04-11 10:17 AM

I enjoyed the read of this. I do think though, that for the book, the internet slang should be changed to the proper word.

carol
Senior Member

since 2003-01-25

Posts 624
Florida USA

9 posted 2003-04-12 09:19 PM

Very well done I really liked

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

10 posted 2003-04-13 05:57 AM

Talia, this is so sad! But it's also a wonderful poem about a painful side of Love that hurts for a very long time.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

11 posted 2003-04-13 06:02 AM

Talia~
You've done a beautiful job of expressing some painful emotions.
Nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Black Swan
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 165
on the moon

12 posted 2003-04-13 05:31 PM

lol bah! i know my typing skills are horrendous, so i'am used to taking the shortcuts,thanks for all your encouragement !,(it helps it really, really does)

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

13 posted 2003-04-13 08:54 PM

I voted. Presentation needs some help but an interesting write.

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