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Open Poetry #25
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This Wretchedness: Falling In Love!
| Open Poetry #25 |
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This Wretchedness: Falling In Love! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Denial A space In mind's residence Padded with luxurious Curtained comfort of the known. My safe room, where there is No riding waves of worry Ever steady knit of being Wrapped in fabric Of aloofness Crocheted Acuteness But me! Yes, I hear you, Tap, tap, tapping, Your mind on mine. Go away! I'm safe and besides Icicles come spring Melt all by themselves To mix and mingle With these tears Of knowing It's you. Why Does This love Feel like Such Grief? And,if I let you Break my seal of denial Might it not be best To crush me to finest dust I would shimmer Though true, in slanted light. Or, melt me Pure magic mist To be dew's diamond sparkle On dawn's early false light For, I would still be. But, if you Scatter the shatter Of my reality To mirrored pieces Of honesty Thinking all I need Is you, Tha true love Is healing Then, Please, don't stop trying To break down my walls Because, I'd like to think so, too. Trusting, So hard When I've Just never been Loved with a love Like you. You are like Water, wind and rain, A nature that I can No longer deny. A gift, it would seem From Him, on high. Teach me, Touch me, Hold me, Enfold me, So I may Finally Confess My love for you. . . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
i started going through trying to pick a line i liked...but couldn't ...i liked them all...powerful stuff here...helen |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful array of emotions displayed here Pat. I know that feeling of wanting and needing another's love.. yet still holding back, staying in that safe zone we create so as not to be hurt.. Hopefully true love wins..  Loved this...therefore, I'm keeping it!! You write in this format so very well...very well indeed. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Thank you, Helen. Coming from you, that is a real compliment. I so appreciate you taking you time and effort in replying. Hugs, Pat  Nancy, Wow. Thank you so much. Yeah, one would hope love wins out. And, there are many emotions involved...thank you, re: writing styles, I feel comfortable using this format...though have no idea what the proper name of it might be....it seems to fit my mind best. Re: Love, just ask Ethel....she has captured it best, it does seem. Thanks for replying, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-26-2003 09:20 AM).] |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Absolutely beautiful. No love without stings of pain! Love, Margherita |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Margherita, You know, you remind me so of Karilea. Thank you for reading and replying; I don't necessarily agree with you, but to each his own. ...I wouldn't ever call true love, which I do believe in, and am talking about here, a 'sting of pain', though, personally... painful perhaps in some ways, trying to let down our guards and trust, but not stinging... and I think fear the biggest pain of all. And, if it is TRUE love, and not returned, it is so much easier, though hurts a lot, to move on, for, with true love, you want the very best for him, and automatically let go....assuming there was no game playing and dishonesty in the beginning... Again, thanks... Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-26-2003 09:52 AM).] |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, this is really awesome writing. As I was reading it, I was also noticing the way and format in which you were putting the words.It seems you've captured something in your writing that I haven't been able to yet...the way you describe the situations and make the reader feel they are right there. I haven't been able to do that without it sounding strange to me. Yours doesn't sound strange or strained. The words just flow along. Really good. And thank you for the compliment in your response to one of your replies. I appreciate that. Heart Hugs,  Ethel |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
In regards to you--and your poetry--we Pipsters are blessed each day with your shining presence... Love & Light, Linda |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ethel, Glad you read and left a message. Thank re: writing style, I appreciate you letting me know it flowed well for you. Writing like this, tho. Lord knows it can always be improved upon, seems to come most naturally to me. What I mean, too, if ever a couple has been in love ~and love~ it is certainly you and Gary, which I find precious. Miss Linda, Tsk! It is I who am blessed by you with your wise and loving poetry. And, if you ever leave for that period of time again, I'm gonna hunt you down. Smiling....glad you are back...we missed the upbeat, uplifting you! Thank you both for reading and answering. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nice.. well written..a build of emotional tension as it goes..tightly woven..and seemingly heartfelt.. genuine... all.. put together in a form that seems to suit you well... one of your best I think... but everything you write seems to be getting better and better... I enjoyed. |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
this is strong! an emotional, winding tale that empties like a water fall of truth! Rf |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Cpat/Ron, Thank you for your kind words, but there is yet much improvement needed. I could not help but get ~better and better~ considering my favorite writer has been so willing to help me along the way. Thank you ~Many~ years ago when going through a rather difficult chapter of my life (actually was half the book of me, I think), in order to keep from going stark raving mad myself and to understand the bizarre behavior of a person in my life, I lived in the library it seemed, hauling home tons of books at a time of every psychiatric textbook published, along with every self-help manual available and an array of positive thinking books. One of the affirmations I had hanging on bathroom mirror for a daily+ reminder was: Every day, in every way, I'm getting ~better and better~. Grins! Some things just take awhile, I guess! ...smiling here... Glad this seemed genuine and that you enjoyed. Hugs, Pat Robert, I am so happy you took the time to read. I love your reply, rather poetic! Glad that truth came through, for I do believe this to be true in many cases.... Thanks, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Beautiful flow of thoughts...James |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
liked it |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Pat, I think I forgot to breathe in the read of this, for I found myself breathless at it's end. Very nicely done, so easily related to.  |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
James, Glad you found the flow, beautiful. Thank you so much for your time. Vandana, So good to see you reading. Thanks! Anne, Sure glad you took the time to tell me how you felt about this. The breathless part. Kinda like that for me, too. Guess I really get into my own poetry, and, it is so good to find out someone else can relate so much. So thank you for taking your time to read and reply. Means much... Hugs to all three of you, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
It's the finest wretchedness there is, and confessing it is the only way in -- or out.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ed, Thank you for reading and your reply. I almost changed the title for afraid ~wretchedness~ might be viewed as too torturous. But, this situation could be just that, on some days. Disclosure only when one is ready to pass possible figments of imagination and face reality. And, maybe not ever depending on circumstances, wants and needs. So glad you took the time to read my poetry and reply. Thanks, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, wow. *S* This is fantastic!!! You've captured the roller coaster ride of hope and fear, anticipation and dread, wanting to leap and strapping on a parachute, can it be and what if it's not... all those mixed needs that jumble our thoughts when we've been burned but still seek love's warmth. *S* Maybe only "first loves" happen without baggage... for trust comes a bit harder every time it's given unwisely. *S* Forgive my rambling... I know I've inserted "me" right into your words... but that's what happens when I identify with a write so much. *G* And I needed to catch my breath after holding it... so I could put this into my library. *S* |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This is one of my favorites from you Pat. It speaks from the heart to the heart, and I was wrapped up in every poetic word it. Beautiful work my Dear |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ruth, I love your rambling! Though I hate to use the word: [exactly] for it is so overused, I can't help but say it now. Exactly! You summed 'it' up perfectly. I am always pleased to find I've been able to write a poem to which others relate so much. Thank you for taking your time to read and reply. You made my day! Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lori, Just missed you, while answering Ruth. So good to hear from you and thank you for replying and that it hit heart to heart. Still working on Mud Bath, but I can't imagine (yet) where the amount of mud needed to roll around as much as I'd like to, would be....some mud puddle! grins....Appreciate your thoughts. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Pat - this is awesome - goodness - loved it - and uhhh hey . . . denial isnt a bad thing - right? hehehe xxoo Yes, I hear you, Tap, tap, tapping, Your mind on mine. Go away! this was amazing |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Pat Your words captivated me from start to finish as I savoured every word. "The countless generations like autumn leaves go by Love only is eternal, love only does not die..." Take care......Sue I am in motion |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lt'l Wng - Sue...Glad you liked the "tap, tap, tapping, go away!" me, too. Yes, denial is not a bad thing, however, love grows and puts pressure on your brain and pretty soon you're going around bumping into walls, giggling for no reason... downright giddy! Grins...thanks for reading. Suetang, Glad you enjoyed; thanks for the "love only is eternal". When I read that, my thought was, yes it is, it's ~evergreen~. Thanks for your time and comments. Hugs to you both, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Oh Pat this is indeed outstanding. I could feel the emotions of fear and wanting. There are so many great lines. I picked this one, as so many times, this is how I feel about life around me: ...My safe room, where there is No riding waves of worry... Hugs and luvs for peace. Marti Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Marti, Good to hear from you. Yes, fear and wanting, the balance of that like a see-saw....Safe room? A wonderful place to go, to be, but, too often, (probably not from God's point of view) it takes real, heartfelt prayer to get there and stay there. The Serenity Prayer a great help for all circumstances: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Thanks for your time, and peace to you, too...such a loving, kind lady. Hugs and love, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-28-2003 10:53 AM).] |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
You know, there is something to be said about the honesty that is so difficult to admit. This was one of the finest breeches of fantasy I have ever read my friend. Purely touching and tender. TD |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Pat, this is awesome... Denial A space In mind's residence Padded with luxurious Curtained comfort of the known. an excellent first stanza that sets the bar for the rest of this piece...in fact, with some twiddling, i think it can be a poem about denial by itself...specifically a tanka(Japanese poetry form of 5-7-5-7-7 syllabled lines) And,if I let you Break my seal of denial Might it not be best To crush me to finest dust I would shimmer Though true, in slanted light. was surprised by slanted light and had to pause for a moment..my prejudice makes me assume that once the denial seal is broken, the light that shine through will be so brilliant that it blinds the eyes... Or, melt me Pure magic mist To be dew's diamond sparkle didn't particularly care for magic mist (think magic is a weak word to be used here) but loved the dew's diamond But, if you Scatter the shatter Of my reality To mirrored pieces Of honesty Freaking cool stanza!!! utterly delightful i'm taking this prisoner in my library  |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
the cookies on my computer aren't set properly so i can't go and edit my reply now... anyway, just like to say that the serenity's prayer is an all-time favourite philosophy of mine...i have been carrying this prayer around with me in my wallet for 2+ years already...the third anniversary is 1st June.. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Kathleen, How glad I am you read and for your reply. Never heard the phrase: "breech of fantasy", but am happy to hear mine is the best you've ever read. Thanks also for the touching and tender. Appreciate your time. Hugs, PatKaile! Whoa! You have me grinning ear to ear. I love it when you do this. So helpful and encouraging to me. I see what you mean abt. 1st stanza/tanka, all I'd need to do is make 1st two lines, the first line, and add a 2nd line w. 7 syllables, the next 3 are 5-7-7- How observant, you are. Yes, glad you caught the [slanted] light...to be used both as slanted light in which dust particles float, but, also, deliberately meant as less than I'd be if I made the connection w. him..so not pure love and light.. Magic is definitely an overused word...I wasn't that thrilled with it either. Me too, re: dew's diamond And you tickle me with your enthusiasm re: Scatter the shatter stanza... You said: "Freaking cool"... laughed out loud at you...and finally, I also smiled about you having knowledge of and using the Serenity Prayer, considering what I thought was your stance on God...(take him/it, or leave it or, better put, not ready to delve into the God factor quite yet). So it pleases me that you like it....or the philosphy of it. It has saved me many times from saying or doing foolish things...or not quite getting a grasp on a situation that has me baffled... it works, of course, my opinion is, GOD WORKS, if we but ask Him...Anyway, I'm so glad you took this indepth look at my poetry. Thank you very much. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
there's a certain joy, and comfort, in knowing someone cares and loves you enough to 'help' you, to get past the past ..even though with that comfort comes fear and unguarded sensitivity.. I think you captured that well, err at least thats what I got from this ..almost missed this one too!Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
regards2you - many thoughts and feelings in this writing, I like the way you express them... BC |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Excellent, felt the longing to succumb to the 'L' word |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Alyssa, Glad you found this and yes, your review works perfectly well. Thanks. Bill, Glad you liked this. Raph, Yes, it is there, Ohhh, the ~L~ word, scary, isn't it? Smiling. Many thanks to all three of you for taking your time to read and then to reply. Means a lot to me. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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