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wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-02-18 12:51 PM

This is the first thing that I wrote, that seemed to be poetry.
I sometimes think that it should have stopped here.

I’ve never been to the Louvre,
but have seen in the night sky
a masterwork of swirling purple and violets
so rich and dark and deep
as to draw one’s soul deep
into the myriad crystalline faeries
dancing therein.

I’ve not seen the horror of war
but have seen the blood flow
from a fellow creature, impossibly fast
glinting like liquid ruby
and watched, rapt, as the lights in his eyes
dimmed, flickered, flared, then died.

I’ve never visited a cathedral,
but once, sitting on a riverbank
felt my long-dead grandmother kiss my cheek.
brush stray hair from my forehead with her pale hand
then, leave me enveloped in her scent
of talc, lilac and baking bread.

I’ve never been imprisoned or enslaved
but have known despair so abysmal
that it had an accompanying sound.
A Highlander’s mournful pipe
a Bangladeshi’s shrill keening
and the Arab woman’s trilling wail
are but pale representations of that awful song
that they hear from within.

I’ve never seen Michelangelo’s “Pieta”
but have delighted in exploring the contrasts
in a flawless young woman .
Swells and valleys, at once, smooth, firm, soft and yielding
Flesh as cool as a May morning, yet, warm as a puppy’s ear.
The sweet fragrance of panted exhalations and lower
a nectar of berries and salt marsh.

Nor have I taken a meal in a five star restaurant
but have eaten a good stew
good in the sense that love is good.
In one bowl, a repast that excited the palette,
sated the hunger and nurtured the soul
Simply, a perfect meal.

[This message has been edited by wranx (02-20-2003 11:40 AM).]

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

1 posted 2003-02-18 01:40 AM

I really like this.
Nice write.
Jason

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-02-18 01:49 AM

This is the first thing that I wrote, that seemed to be poetry.
I sometimes think that it should have stopped here

Funny that I thought the opposite while reading this Ed, that your writing should continue always. You're way too humble and critical of your own work which, I admit more than a little embarrased, was one of the biggest reasons I continued writing.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2003-02-18 02:30 AM

Ed, this one makes me speechless, it's so good.....
and, I don't get that way very often, either..LOL
So...

....into the voting box

Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-02-18 03:47 AM

I agree with Aenimal

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2003-02-18 07:20 AM

You never cease to amaze me Ed.

One of these days you will be forced to take a proper bow...and I've been thinking on this. I'm of the opinion that you've been a fabulous storyteller all of your life. I think it's just occurring to you write them down. You've a natural voice...just talk to us, Ed.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

6 posted 2003-02-18 07:59 AM

Exceptional! This was just wonderful.
ThisDiamond

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

7 posted 2003-02-18 08:06 AM

'I’ve never visited a cathedral,
but once, sitting on a riverbank
felt my long-dead grandmother kiss me on the cheek.
brush stray hair from my forehead with her pale hand
then, leave me enveloped in her scent
of talc, lilac and baking bread.'

I like what Karen said, glad you're writing them down now. Excellent write Ed!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-02-18 09:52 AM

yeah Ed..tell you what... you quit writing now and so will I... ( chuckling) yeah right... should have quit then... don't be so damned thick headed..I know you're smarter than that.. your talent for telling the stories and capturing in imagery as well as metaphor the human condition is to be envied... and not a self derisive excersize for the author... ya know we love ya man...
but that is still my Bud Light... so keep your mitts off it... I'll buy you one of your own...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2003-02-18 10:44 AM

Ed,I am glad that your poetry did not stop here. This is a wonderful write, with so many visions in it. It's got my vote!

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

10 posted 2003-02-18 12:46 PM

Nor have I taken a meal in a five star restaurant
but have eaten a good stew
good in the sense that love is good.
In one bowl, a repast that excited the palette,
sated the hunger and nurtured the soul
Simply, a perfect meal.

Ed, never think your writings aren't worth doing. They are, they are.

Cor

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

11 posted 2003-02-18 04:55 PM

I'm glad it didn't end there. There's a quality in your writing that's very unique, and Poetry-with-a-capital-P is better for it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (02-18-2003 04:55 PM).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2003-02-18 05:00 PM

An excellent write and indeed an excellent story teller.

Maree

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

13 posted 2003-02-18 09:11 PM

It's a damn good thing for us that you've kept that pen in your poetry paw.
I'm keeping this one in my own private library, irregardless of future books.
I love your unique imagery, and the depth of thoughts you forever dredge up from the bottom of your cup always leave me thirsty for more.
Please keep those fingers warm and in good writing condition.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

14 posted 2003-02-18 09:34 PM

This is poetry. Pure and simple. You have my vote!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

15 posted 2003-02-19 11:21 AM

I'm sure glad you started and didn't stop... this is excellent! *S*

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

16 posted 2003-02-19 05:03 PM

I’ve never been to the Louvre,
but have seen in the night sky
a masterwork of swirling purple and violets
so rich and dark and deep
as to draw one’s soul deep
into the myriad crystalline faeries
dancing therein.

I’ve not seen the horror of war
but have seen the blood flow
from a fellow creature, impossibly fast
glinting like liquid ruby
and watched, rapt, as the lights in his eyes
dimmed, flickered, flared, then died.

I’ve never visited a cathedral,
but once, sitting on a riverbank
felt my long-dead grandmother kiss me on the cheek.
brush stray hair from my forehead with her pale hand
then, leave me enveloped in her scent
of talc, lilac and baking bread.

========================================

this is such a very very cool write...
that first verse alone is worth its weight in poetic gold. excellent choice to represent you poet sir!!

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ... it then directs your course."

K.Gibran

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

17 posted 2003-02-19 05:06 PM

Ed, this is outstanding...

And you thought it not good?

shame on you!

Sunkissed.

[This message has been edited by Sunkissed (02-19-2003 05:07 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

18 posted 2003-02-20 04:19 AM

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

19 posted 2003-02-20 08:59 AM

Wonderful!!!!!

Can I vote for more than one from you?? Oh well, don't know....did anywayz!!!!

Bridgette

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

20 posted 2003-02-20 09:05 AM

ditto what everyone else said!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

21 posted 2003-02-20 09:13 AM

Thank the Lord above that you did not stop with this write! You have more talent in your baby finger than most of us have in their whole body! Your use of language and metaphor, your knowingness and observances of life...You are an old soul, Dear Ed and I enjoy to the fullest your visions and thoughts on life.

~ May the ink in your pen never dry up!

Linda

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

22 posted 2003-02-20 10:38 AM

Ed...Yep!!! So very good!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

23 posted 2003-02-20 10:43 AM

I disagree....

this was a very good start....
with no finish in sight...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

24 posted 2003-02-20 07:45 PM

(smiles) Yay! Oh Wranx, you know what they say, home is where the heart is, and I'm sure that Michelangelo, Leonardo de Vinci, William Wordsworth, all the great artists looked in their hearts and that is where the beauty was adapted from! (big hugggggssssss) So don't bother charting the stars like Ptolemy, they are all there before you, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Wranx, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

25 posted 2003-02-20 08:02 PM

Ed, this is fantastic...one for the book for sure!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

26 posted 2003-02-21 07:09 PM

I’ve never visited a cathedral,
but once, sitting on a riverbank
felt my long-dead grandmother kiss my cheek.
brush stray hair from my forehead with her pale hand
then, leave me enveloped in her scent
of talc, lilac and baking bread.

descriptions that reach in and pull out my own memories...a beautiful, well written poem

M

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

27 posted 2003-02-24 08:18 AM

You give all the images
lives of their own.
Don't ever stop. *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

28 posted 2003-02-24 01:26 PM

This is one of my favorites from you, one of many favorites. You write honesty and truth and joy and pain.

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

29 posted 2003-02-24 04:16 PM

I'm impressed by this. Yep, left me in awe.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

30 posted 2003-02-25 01:41 AM

You know I do read all of yours though sometimes I lack time for the comment, but I have to tell you that I am sure glad you didn't stop at this one

The descriptions in this are so vivid and real.

~* Carpe' Diem *~

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-25-2003 01:42 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

31 posted 2003-02-25 04:04 AM

I know I already replied to this, but needed to vote, and tell you that I love the new picture!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

32 posted 2003-03-01 06:39 PM

Ed, you are a fantastic poet, never doubt it.
This is phenomenal.
Sandra

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

33 posted 2003-03-16 02:45 AM

Wow, Ed..I REALLY like this one.
An excellent write, poet friend.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

34 posted 2003-03-16 03:00 AM

ED:

Simply, a perfect meal.

this was - thank you - as always xxoo

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

35 posted 2003-03-16 05:53 AM

Ed...You are too humble, this is very very good. I'm sure glad you didn't stop with this one, you are finding your stride poet sir don't stop now...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

36 posted 2003-03-21 11:47 PM

dear wranx, I am grateful you didn't stop there, for your words have touched me many times and I can't imagine this world without your poetry in it. This is one of your best dear friend, and most definately should be in the book.

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

37 posted 2003-03-21 11:58 PM

This is a fine piece. Introspection, value of nature, pathos in view of death, and connectiion to a spirit world grandmother. This is a great philosophy lesson. I enjoyed it very much. Ken J

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

38 posted 2003-03-22 08:20 PM

I do love the depth of your writing.
You manage to take the reader on a journey that leads to the discovery and small victories of ones self...

forged by your path~

You go wranx~

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (03-22-2003 08:33 PM).]

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

39 posted 2003-03-22 08:37 PM

I agree with all above... you have an innate talent which all of us are lucky to experience through your writing. I do think, kiddingly, that your first two lines of explanation preceding this poem would make for a very witty poem of itself...

(my vote is definitely in...)

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

40 posted 2003-03-25 02:51 PM

Just reading through some goodies.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

41 posted 2003-03-25 03:01 PM

You are a modest and self-effacing poet!--all the great ones are!

Now who should we thank for your continuing on with writing poetry? --Your muse? The gods?...

Love & Light,
Linda

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

42 posted 2003-03-30 05:49 PM

This is really great, the way you brought into focus the comparison between what we are expected to find beautiful and we find beautiful right in front of us. Well written. I don't think you should have stopped writing. I hope you didn't change your style.

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