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Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

0 posted 2003-03-23 04:30 PM

Enraged, I react
Stopping just short of action
Anger makes me weak

[This message has been edited by Jason Lyle (03-24-2003 08:36 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-03-23 04:50 PM

Perfect Jason, loved this and yes it is a weakness. But a power that could be tapped with the proper outlet..like oh say..poetry

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (03-23-2003 04:50 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-03-23 07:35 PM

Very good, Jason!!
I don't think it's too blunt,
because I think you said a lot
in a few words. But someone who
knows more about poetry writing than
I do would have to tell you that.
All I really know is the syllable
count and you have that perfect!!

Glad to see you trying something new.
These are fun, aren't they?

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

3 posted 2003-03-23 09:28 PM

I'd say you got it right Jason...and your message is perfect...well done..

believe in what your heart feels...

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2003-03-23 09:39 PM

I have fallen victim of anger myself. Great senryu!

NavySEAL
Junior Member

since 2003-03-21

Posts 17

5 posted 2003-03-23 09:42 PM

So short, yet so clear. Great JOB! This is one of those poems that comes out just the way it was meant to.

"The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday"
--U.S. Navy SEALs

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-03-24 05:41 AM

Jason - this is perfect - lol - you are so funny up there . . . sometimes anger is needed to gain strength - weak - yes xxoo

lol Raph

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2003-03-24 08:32 AM

Those few words had a power house of meaning!

At times, inaction requires more strength than does action...

Peace & Light,
Earth Angel

Gina Culliney
Member

since 2003-03-08

Posts 170

8 posted 2003-03-25 09:03 PM

well, I'm not much for formats. I like free style myself. But this particular writer seems to achieve worthiness in any area he sets his pen too. short, brutal, and to the point! well done.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

9 posted 2003-03-25 09:16 PM

Very good job. Can appreciate so the emotion in control. TD

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