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Circles Around OZ
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Circles Around OZ |
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Salt New Member
since 2003-03-19
Posts 9 |
Trial to the hord of hoaxes, virtue me a widow to cry/ stand abrupt to the shallow waters between bitter and your eye/ mind that meadow, shoot the list, follow in uniform fashion/ taking all disregard for clothes, restitch your eye patches/ riddle the lights, turn on the gas, 'hello mr. shadow'/ foul for percussion, new year's to follow the execution of the old/ tab my name with your 'but alas, it's much to cold'/ to tell me the lie, truth of the matter someoone spoken/ called the shouting voice to batter the witness who knew I was broken/ send the post to the age of limits, lost lingering on the chord/ set upon my landscape to escape a free room and board/ motto to the drunkard fueled by all speaking in his ear/ will the recoarse take me far from my battle with the steer/ peer into the pear shaped model of a pear/ you find my locked skin, open to the elements bear/ settle the window panes, reflection each with its own quarrel/ lose me in the dance between my sanity and my morals.... Just something I did off hand....don't know how much sense it makes but I'd like to see how someone other than myself would interprit it. Peace |
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| © Copyright 2003 Salt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ParisGrl Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610 |
Salt, Cool poem, I don't have the time to interpret it now though. Welcome to Passions! ~Laura~ |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
seems a perfect title, loved the sounds as they rolled through the poem...curious as to the reasoning for the "/" at the end of each line, mind you, that's not a criticism, but truly I'm curious Welcome to the busiest board on the net, methinks! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
I love it! I'll be back with interpetations later |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
*very confused stare* Ummm... Yeah, I didn't think it really seemed to have a point. But, if I were to try to draw some core focus from it, I would say it sounded like a conflict with some unseen foe. Although many lines have abosutely nothing to do with that. Heh. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I like the rhythm and sound. To me, this is a stream of consciousness poem-mirroring a mind in free-fall. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions, Salt! Amidst a sprinkling of peppered alliteration and rhyme, you hold the key to your poetic mystery this time...  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! Very interesting first post! I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before ~ |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Salt~ An interesting write for your first post. I'll look forward to seeing more from you. Welcome to Passions!  ~Vicky P.S. Check your e-mail for a special greeting. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Welcome to PIP! Salt - interesting indeed - check out the workshop - if its interpretations and critique you are seeking - myself - I am stumped on this one - but interesting - lots of nice lines - xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (03-21-2003 01:19 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (sigh) This to me felt like a tornado ride, dearest friend, Dorothy got wrapped up in one and that took her over the rainbow, yes? I feel you unravel that feeling here too, where sometimes we are down on Earth but other times morals escape us and we find ourselves soaring in parallel universes! This is a marvelous debut, sweet friend, I LOVE IT!!! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?...
