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Open Poetry #25
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2003-02-17 08:55 AM


There are days of dusty knowing
With the wind always blowing
Parts of me and you around
The desert we are growing

There are nights of fading stars
Too dim to show the scars
From words we tried to speak
But left us fighting wars

Chorus:
Tell me how the thought of you
Seems to tear me all way through
When we both know its wrong
And we just can’t get along


There are days of rainy crying
And still you think I’m lying
When I say I care for you
When I say inside I’m dying

There are sounds of rumbling thunder
When lightning splits asunder
Reason leaving me with only
This thought I truly blundered

Chorus:
Tell me how the thought of you
Seems to tear me all way through
When we both know its wrong
And we just can’t get along

There are days of dusty knowing
With the wind always blowing
Parts of me and you around
The desert we are growing

Tell me when will the rain come
To soothe this parched lonesome
Will it always ever be that we
Forever fight past history

Chorus:
Tell me how the thought of you
Seems to tear me all way through
When we both know its wrong
And we just can’t get along

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-17-2003 09:02 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-02-17 09:05 AM


Capt,
It seemed to lend to a tune, enjoyed.

Wind
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2 posted 2003-02-17 09:13 AM


I liked it. Yeah.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-02-17 09:16 AM


It's a sad tune Captain...but I love the song.
Nicely done.
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-02-17 09:18 AM


Sy.. thank you sir for the read and the words...
Wind.. glad you liked.. thanks for the read
Nancy... sad perhaps but all too true for many. Thanks for the words my friend


Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-02-17 09:32 AM



Even though a tad sad,
still,
it's nice to see some
song pour from your pen...

Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2003-02-17 09:38 AM


Sunshine.. thank you ma'am... one of the big reasons I don't usually rhyme is they come out this bad or worse

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-02-17 09:54 AM


There are nights of fading stars
Too dim to show the scars
From words we tried to speak
But left us fighting wars

Chorus:
Tell me how the thought of you
Seems to tear me all way through
When we both know its wrong
And we just can’t get along


There are days of rainy crying
And still you think I’m lying
When I say I care for you
When I say inside I’m dying
==================================
Tell me when will the rain come
To soothe this parched lonesome
Will it always ever be that we
Forever fight past history
================================

the moth is going to ignore the above author coments about his rhymes and just enjoy being cadence giddy

Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-02-17 10:02 AM


JM...enjoy... I think I am through with rhyme for a while.. ( chuckling)

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-02-17 10:07 AM


There you go again, Capt. Ron, saying that your excellent rhyme is "bad or worse"....
a definite nono...
.
.

But, most extremely talented poets, such as yourself, don't think their work is good.
.
.

I would love to hear this song to music...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Cpat Hair
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10 posted 2003-02-17 10:11 AM


Ethel... I do not make the foray into rhyme often...and always when I do I find it to be so much less than what I would have it as well as ending up reading forced or trite.
this is full of overused rhymes in my opinion and in truth if not presented as a song...would be horrible.( chuckling)

I make some allowances for songs...as they are in some ways different than poems and can be allowed a few "slips" just to keep the music...

thankyou for the kind words... they are always appreciated


Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2003-02-17 10:14 AM


I'm jealous! I can't do these things!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-02-17 10:44 AM


Ed.. nothing at all to be jealous of.. I have read your postings...you beat this hands down...

thanks....


regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
13 posted 2003-02-17 11:26 AM




...and a wonderful, insightful, song it is...it would be easy to sing...


enjoyed this, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
14 posted 2003-02-19 12:20 PM




(big hugggssssssss) This is so true for so many, dearest friend, this year I have been in a drought myself and long ever so much for Old Faithful to come sprouting out of the sand and to feel true love for the first time in my life! (sigh) An excellent song, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
15 posted 2003-02-20 04:35 AM


what a beautiful song I hear in this!
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
16 posted 2003-02-20 06:11 AM


I can hear the song, and I want to turn it up louder 'cause I like it. I didn't want it to end. Thanks for letting me hear

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2003-03-21 02:23 PM


Had to come back for a Texas song
because it's neither bad, or worse...
just haunting...

blame it on the southern winds...

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
18 posted 2003-03-21 02:48 PM


As one who's addicted to rhyme
I find your construction sublime
I toil at my verse
But mine is much worse
Please share with us any old time!

Nicely done!  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

[This message has been edited by kayjay (03-21-2003 02:50 PM).]

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2003-03-21 06:57 PM


Ron...I'm going to sing and tap my foot along with JM...okay?  This is great...sorry I missed it earlier, glad I saw it now.  
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