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By Words and More
| Open Poetry #25 |
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By Words and More |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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By Words and More I've spread my feelings, sometimes too thin upon pages of blue, never expecting friendships to grow or fade, never realizing how touchable words were coming into contact with so many, some lighting a fuse, others just a spark and all adding to my life, even in the simplest of ways. Hands touched me, words reached me, my hearing improved and my sight developed "between the lines" readings. I have grown in many ways, but also have stifled my living. And as many have tried and know, you are an addiction that pulls me back into the heart of you, even when I try to refuse the given. There are times when I wish I were never in the position to need you, and other times when I am so grateful to know I can open this door, walk in and can dress or undress myself anyway I want, being a seductress, or in the holding pattern of a child, or lost in the thoughts of depression or even happy for that moment in time. It's hard to state what poetry has meant to me, and yet I am not sure all I write is poetry. My words seep out at times, out of confusion, sometimes out of hate and vengeance, only those were always a temporary fix for the ill that would come over me, scrapes and cuts and bruises like I have never felt before. My body would overcompensate, sometimes embarassing me, sometimes making me hide under the covers, pulling them tight to keep me still, until the memories would fade to a lesser hurt. Then I would come out, visit my lifeline and share, hoping that my words would help another in their time of need. I have been needed lately, for my compassion, for my ability to problem solve, for my supporting arms, and time seems to have escaped me for my own purpose in life. Death comes whether I want it to or not, the cancers spread despite all efforts to control by positive feelings, by prayer, by goodness... No one owns life, no one owns darkness, no one owns gloom or sadness. It is always waiting around the corner, always trying to stop us from knowing that today is what counts and if we can get through this one day. then tomorrow may hold the happiness we search for, the contentment and the survival skills to make it through another one. I have put off many things, some days trying to do twenty things at once, to make up for it. Sounds impossible, but if anyone can do that, I can. At the end of a week, it is all accomplished, like line work, it all comes together in the end... So if you don't see me coming and going, dependent on the written word, know that I am living between the lines now, being touched by words and more... M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." (Will Moss) [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (03-19-2003 11:44 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Maureen, This poem touched me deeply, for I feel your journey is so closely related to mine. I've felt these same things, I'm drawn the same way, this place, these people, our friends, all important in my life now. I enjoyed this read, and I felt it's touch upon my heart.  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
MMMMwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! (that's a huge sisterly kiss!  )--for the real, raw write and for you being you! I do understand...Love & Light, Linda [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (03-19-2003 11:51 AM).] |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I love the way you write your heart Maureen. At times I also feel like an open book, but there is a measure of everlasting hope in the real sense of a true story. Hugs to you this morning~ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know the feeling Maureen...I can relate well to what you've said here. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Anne, thank you. I can't seem to fill the emptiness inside. Words don't really help, they are just a temporary fix, a time release high that only brings me down again as time proves to me that my life is meant to be what it is and no more. M |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Maureen, as you know, we all relate to this, or parts of it, anyway. I know that I've done exactly some of these things. Believe me when I say, we see you coming and going, and being the sweet, helpful, compassionate and caring person that you are. I really appreciate the way that you write your heart, dear friend, and the abilities that you have to do so. Thank you for being YOU, Maureen. Heart Hugs, Ethel |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Linda, I have spent the greater portion of the last 72 hours outside of myself. I can see where I have been and the future is a maze of stops and restarts and my frustration level is at its peak. Thank you for understanding M Good morning Lori. I hope this day finds you well. Miss catching you on here..was almost on the time you were late last night. hugssss M Dixie, it is almost a shame that so many of us can relate to one another...I don't believe wanting to be happy and share loving another, is too much to want or ask for in life. Thank you for responding M |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thank you, Ethel. You are one who shines through with your shared love...always a joy to read, always proof of the reachable. hugss M |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
With each read of this, I find both light and dark. For me, given to giving to others means that descriptions of being outside oneself are joyous. However, they may not be to the scribe. I love your phrasing and heartfelt sincerity. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Thank you Ken. This should be a light day for me, but it's dark to my eyes. It should be a fresh start, but I have the lights off, and my blinds drawn and I sit in the darkness that I have become accustomed to. Thoughts pass, yet sometimes on rewind they occur over and over until I just wish I had a turn-off switch *s. I can close my eyes, but still see. And other times I can have them wide open... and see nothing but shadows haunting me. Thank you,again ** maybe it is time to get new glasses and leave the rose colored tint off this time. M..and yes I enjoy helping others..I do so freely but there are times when it drains me until I have nothing left for myself. [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (03-19-2003 04:12 PM).] |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I think we all have that edge we sit on and sometimes it is easy to decide what is for others and what is for self..and sometimes not. An old platitude. I hope some brightness comes to you. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Hey, my friend, I'm just a phone call away. Anytime. Hugssss, Dorene |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Maureen - goodness - you summed it all up here for most of us I do believe - addiction - yes and this: Hands touched me, words reached me, my hearing improved and my sight developed So has mine and ya know - it just did again xxoo |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Ken, Dorene, vandana and littlewing thank you for your kind responses. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and the feelings just begin to pour... hugss M |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Maureen, I was lost and found in the beauty and truth, sadness and desire of this piece, thank you for such a wonderful gift the sharing of your heart. Love Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
nakdthoughts - it's nice to see this write from you. I'm always here, as you know... BC |
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