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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-03-13 12:06 PM

"Have you
never felt love?"
she asked
"No,"
I replied
I could't
say that I had
"But surely"
she said
"you've felt love
for something
or someone"
"Ah,well
that of course"
I replied
"I thought
you'd meant
feeling loved"

____________________________________________________

Oh the muse is on vacation.......this could be my worst

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (03-13-2003 12:12 PM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2003-03-13 12:10 PM

Aenimal
Well done, enjoyed the read.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2003-03-13 12:13 PM

Your muse on vacation?--I think not!

Warm loving hugs,
EA

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-03-13 12:15 PM

well done... and quite illustrative...

enjoyed this Raph... but I always enjoy what your pen and mind have to offer...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-03-13 12:28 PM

Well said and vey much enjoyed...
*smiling here...your muse is not on vacation*

~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2003-03-13 12:34 PM

this has a sad touch to it, yet written with your style.....enjoyed!!

Lauren~

Take me where the tides start
So I can pull you into me

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

6 posted 2003-03-13 04:45 PM

thanks everybody but really? i think its crap i just needed to vent..

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

7 posted 2003-03-13 06:35 PM

YEAH, RAFFI, ITS CRAP,YOUR RIGHT

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

8 posted 2003-03-13 06:36 PM

gotcha!!!!!!!!!!!
i couldnt resist

no, its sweet, its forlorn, and sadly sweet,
and an honest emotion, given voice,

Etain
Member

since 2003-02-22

Posts 92
The moon...

9 posted 2003-03-13 07:22 PM

Honestly, I like it.
To feel love,
I love...
It is a good one
to think about.
Hugs,
Etain.

KristieSue

Senior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 1460
PA, US

10 posted 2003-03-13 07:31 PM

*sigh* What crap....

....wish I could write such crap :-)~~

Aenimal, you should give yourself more credit...WAY more... :-)

I like how you realize the difference between feeling loved and loving...we can love others, but to TRULY feel loved, somtimes, is entirely different.

KS

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

11 posted 2003-03-13 09:33 PM

Mish, agreed with the first sentiment lol
but thanks for the second

Thanks Etain appreciate your words

KS give myself credit, hah you don't know me vewy well lol But thanks and yes there is a huge difference between the two

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

12 posted 2003-03-13 11:29 PM

Raph - sweety - this is lovely - you are a crazy man (well thats besides the point) - I know EXACTLY what you mean - feeling loved - the warmth returned -
everything you write has depth -
as always - amazing xxoo
lol @ giving yourself credit - you are worse than me!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

13 posted 2003-03-14 12:30 PM

Raph, this is a really good point you have made here. A lot of people I think feel this way. They love with everything in them and don't feel that love in return.

Your poems always make your readers think...this one, anyway.

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

14 posted 2003-03-14 01:54 AM

Short and simple, yet very much enjoyed. Thanks for sharing!

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member

since 2003-03-08

Posts 41
Fl, Usa.

15 posted 2003-03-14 02:05 AM

Hehe..first off, In spirit of your Constructive critique message..I'll be completely honest. It's not "pretty". That doesn't mean it's crap though! Or not good. It expressed what it was meant to express and was beautiful for it. Just because the box around the chocolates is plain and unadorned, doesn't mean the chocolate isn't sweet, eh? ^_~. Great job. And I know how you feel with this one. X_X

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

16 posted 2003-03-14 02:19 AM

You are much too hard on yourself Raph!
This was quite the contrary on love and loving, and quite the contrary on your crap!

Get it?

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

17 posted 2003-03-14 03:45 AM

Well it's not your best, certainly not...I have crap-venting poems too. Poems lying in my hard-drive somewhere, unfinished; random words - words I use too often, strung together like misshapen beads...

still though - poems like these help in some way...

what I get out of this poem - is the truth in it..

(ps - did receive those poems, just a lazy emailer...)

K

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

18 posted 2003-03-14 04:13 PM

Ethel i hope they all do in some way, thanks and hugs

Thank Cowboy!

Thanks Dark side i wanted to pull it right off but just left it, seems to be recieved well anyway

Well thank you Blues what can i say, just posted it to get the ball rolling, came up with a much better later on in the day

Thanks K, yeah it helped i ended up writing shimmer after this. Helps to blow off steam and recover. Thanks for the reply and don't worry about the poems there's no rush. Take care

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

19 posted 2003-03-15 05:11 AM

not your greatest, true,worthy of being posted, yes. yeah, i'm a bit stuck too at the mo, but i've just read your latest, and you're shining again. (grrrrrr i'm still stuck!)
but you know, this still has such feelings in it, such harsh reality, a message. your poems my dear, are always more than worth a read.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

20 posted 2003-03-16 12:23 PM

*sits here in silence invisible* lol -

[This message has been edited by littlewing (03-16-2003 01:26 PM).]

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

21 posted 2003-03-16 12:27 PM

Sorry to break it to you, Aenimal,
but you will have to do MUCH worse than that for it to be your worst.

I genuinely appreciate the lean-in-word volume and kicky tidbits of poems. They
get me thinking and that can't ever be bad! *s

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

22 posted 2003-03-16 12:36 PM

yep, it's really crappy when you feel that way, isn't it?

now, as for this 'poem':

Crap like this should never be posted!!!

the devil made me say that!
You already know how I really feel about it. If I thought it was crap I wouldn't even bother with a reply.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

23 posted 2003-03-16 12:41 PM

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

24 posted 2003-03-16 01:01 PM

Er. I've just realized my reply
*might* be taken as an insult and
believe me it is meant as a compliment!

None of your work is worse, worser
or even worsest!

Got it? Good. *s

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

25 posted 2003-03-16 02:26 PM

Thanks gemma i appreciate it it's just I really hate this one..maybe its the subject more than the words, would rather no have had to write itmaybe..lol

Oops Sue, so i miseed you jeez like we never talk..pllbbbbbbbt ;p
and YOU, silent? ha!

Hey chanson with these words 'but you will have to do MUCH worse than that for it to be your worst." I got the message that maybe there's a specific poem I've written that you've read thats just so horrid that this is better than it lol Thanks for the compliments

Thanks Kacy but frankly you're all too kind or insane or both..which is fun or scary or both..

Dixie sorry

LOL CHANSON ok then disregard the first reply i made to you lol Dont worry I knew what you meant just teasing you

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

26 posted 2003-03-16 05:28 PM

Raph - I blame it ALL on my ethnic heritage . . .

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

27 posted 2003-03-16 05:49 PM

Or your best, damn you can go straight to the truth.Well done.
Jason

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

28 posted 2003-03-16 07:11 PM

No, no. Not a bad poem, Aenimal. But perhaps a bit of restructuring? Quotation marks can be distracting in poems. (Just suggestions here, of course!)

She asked if I had ever felt love.

No, I replied,
I couldn't
say that I had.

But surely
you've felt love
for something
or someone?

Ah,well
that, of course,
I replied,
I hought
you meant
feeling loved

Peace,

Cor

[This message has been edited by Corinne (03-16-2003 07:13 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

29 posted 2003-03-16 08:58 PM

Lol Sue you said it not me

Jason Thanks means a lot tome

Core thank you, yes much better actually! But personally i hated the poem for its content as well as it's structure, but you've cured the latter

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