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Open Poetry #25
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Untouchable
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Untouchable |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace 
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Untouchable half-past now I realized if I loved you for a moment it would last for eternity but I have such fears in the giving and the letting go it is not so much doubt in you but more of me can you see the unworthiness I wear daily under this perfume so you wouldn’t notice for if you did you would be drawn to its attention walking by me like some stranger on the street who could not bear to look straight in my eyes only to prove again that simple and flawed are untouchable "Don't let the mistakes of your past be the journey of your future." |
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| © Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now there's the rub... I can't believe anyone is untouchable, but if you have to say so, then you did it very well, and with class, and style... good read, Helen. Thank you. |
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DonFurr Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 172Monticello IN |
Within the flaw of many a gem rest the secret of its brilliance. The person that overlooks this is not worthy of the view. "If there is any doubt about it there is no doubt about it." Linnie Stanton |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
1slick_lady Don't agree but like the write. |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Your words are so full of tender expressions. Excellent. Eric |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
 . Lovely.Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yea...sigh |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
I know how this feels. You wrote this well I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Helen, I liked this, but I have found that even when she has worked at making herself untouchable, someone with enough love in his heart for her could come along and pull down all the shields she's put up. "Love makes the world go around" |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
agree with garysgirl and it is still there bump A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Oh I REALLY like. I really really like. I can definately connect to this poem... "it is not so much doubt in you but more of me can you see the unworthiness I wear daily under this perfume so you wouldn’t notice" I love that part... I'm so glad I stopped in to see this  Tara "wake me up inside call my name and save me from the dark" -Bring Me To Life by Evanescence [This message has been edited by rosepetals25 (03-21-2003 01:56 PM).] |
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S Arthur Grey Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719woven by a poet's loom |
Did you say "unworthy"? tsk tsk tsk I remember what someone told me about that . . . (I'm not believin' ya' here) But I like your write anyway - comes alive. S |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
This is a wonderful write Helen. Words laced, and woven, as only you can do. I really enjoyed the read of this. |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
"I wear daily under this perfume so you wouldn’t notice for if you did you would be drawn to its attention walking by me like some stranger on the street" no stranger should u ever be!!!!! this one needs a bump eveytime some reads it just some one that does read and write and always enjoy every thing that u have wrote bernie [This message has been edited by bslicker (03-22-2003 01:42 AM).] |
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