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Open Poetry #25
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Brat prince
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Brat prince |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
And so came the morn, as the fires died out The camp stirred to life and prayed to their gods Alone sat a warrior , scars on his face Donning his armour, ignoring the odds A calm was about him, movements routine Nerves as controlled as his fear seemed to be Joining his comrades, accepting his fate Trust in his God and his sword made him free "And so comes the day!", Cries the brat to his men "Show them no quarter!", today we shall win! He looks to the field, his enemy strong And then forgives his brat prince for his sin Behind archers he marched, sword in his hand Preparing for dying, not fearing death A roar like no other, battle begins Rage takes control in the space of a breath A cold tempest fury, one with his sword They fall like leaves, in the wake of his storm The screams of his brethren harden his steel Thier blood in his eyes is salty and warm The brat prince, a coward, screams"all retreat!" The warrior in anger, picks up a bow "I'll not let my brothers die for this fool" Treason the the last thing the brat prince would know "To me" cried the warrior, unwanted king Retreat on my sword, or victory bring His sword swept paths through the line of his foes And his soldiers rallied, To thier new king Blood ran like rivers, and few would survive But the warrior king victor was still free A grass crown was he given upon the field No roman, romans could kings never be And though he has power only romans are free I havent been able to write for 2 weeks, and then this,my first attempt at telling a story, I truly welcome tech critiques, I spent 8 drunken hours on this damn writer block buster, and tried to stay in form, though in the end I needed A spell checker and 4 more shots to post it. Jason [This message has been edited by Jason Lyle (03-04-2003 01:20 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Jason Lyle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Phantom Poet Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 116Arizona USA |
Keep drinking and writeing i belive words written are well spoken >>>phantom poet<< |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jason - good for you my friend- keep writing - epic poetry is my first love - long winding stories - yours beautifully done xxoo |
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Ringo 
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
If you need a good drunk to write like this, then I am going to buy stock in the dreaded "Scary Smooth". A masterful piece of writing. BTW.. I don;t know if Kristie told you guys, but Scary Smooth is Ezra Brooks Kentucky Whiskey. |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Ok, I'm sober now, thanks for the kind comments friends.I see I have left meter in a few places.....must fix. Jason |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
WOW! WOW! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
OH WOW!!! FANTASTIC!! *Maybe I should have a wee nip of whatever you're having* ~Smiles, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Lol! I prefer to write on crown royal,............in my defense......Poe was an alchoholic. Jason [This message has been edited by Jason Lyle (03-04-2003 07:40 PM).] |
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