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A home without a wall, |
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| The Alley |
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Neighbors, Part II |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State 
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Today I MUST vent, before I do something I’ll regret. And I forewarn you, it's a bit long winded. I also want to know if you were in this situation, in what interesting way would you approach this problem short of blowing a cork or worse? And just a re-cap of my previous complaint read Neighborsfirst, so you will have a better understanding of my complaint. And .... They just keep adding fuel to the fire. During the summer, she accused my dog of being vicious, claiming that my dog cornered her grandson and another child, in another neighbors garage, growling and baring teeth. She called my husband and shared this with him because she “felt it was the right thing to do.” Then she went on to threaten him, saying, “If any thing happens to these kids I’ll be forced to ........ ....well, lets just leave it at that” she says. I wondered why the other neighbor didn't call me to let me know my dog had been a threat to her children. So, I called the other neighbor to see if there was any truth to this. I could never imagine my dog doing such a thing. Not to mention I know that the woman in question is nuts and loves turmoil. The other neighbor stated this was all a crock. She said that my dog, along with my nutty neighbors two dogs, we're in her garage and had a possum cornered, growling and barking at it when the kids walked into the garage. Nothing more, nothing less. I chose NOT to confront the nutty neighbor because one, I was so angry and two, I felt she was trying to stir the pot. Through out the rest of the summer, we’ve dealt with many other issues, speeding down the drive way, loud music & revving engines all hours of the night, unruly teens, running carelessly with BB guns shooting crows and other birds…..etc. We discovered that my dog has cancer and during her visits, we also discovered she has a BB in lodged in her side. Wonder where THAT came from? We had the cancer removed and the dog seemed to be doing OK, and she certainly has her ups and downs. We left out of town over Labor Day and had arranged for the dog to be taken care of while we were away. The nutty neighbor called us at our location the morning we arrived there, and proceeded to tell me the dog is very sick and needs to be taken care of. She even took it upon her self to call the vet and try to get her in to be seen. I tried to explain to her that the dog was fine, already had a follow up appointment the following week and someone was taking care of her. I was so angry I ended up handing the phone to my husband who basically told her to butt out, we didn’t ask for her help or opinion. I called the person who was caring form my dog and she said that she was fine, and seemed to be feeling much better since we had left. She then told me the nutty neighbor came over several times trying to get the dog to come over to her, and the dog wouldn't have anything to do with her. She also stated to the dog sitter that we neglect our dog, and should treat the dog like family as they treat theirs. She said was taking the dog to the vet and having her put down. EXCUSE ME??????? The gal who was caring for my dog told the neighbor she wasn’t taking the dog anywhere! Nutty neighbor agreed because we would probably sue her. DAMN straight I would have! Anyway, FYI, the dog is doing much better now and is still improving. But that’s not the end of it…… Just last Friday, nutty neighbor came over to get her grandson. While she was there she knelt down to pet my dog, which quickly moved away from her. She told my husband “you know, I hope you’re not offended by this but I feel I have to say something. Do you know your wife is mean?” He asked her what in Gods name was she talking about. She proceeded to tell him that I was a really mean person and that I beat our dog, and she just thought he should know! Husband told her "wife DOES NOT beat our dog" and she was mistaken. She tried to continue on and he just said “What ever” and walked away. WHAT IN THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN! At the moment he told me this, I felt like throttling her into oblivion!  And of course, once again, I kept my mouth shut in fear of what I might do in a rage! Husband thinks I shouldn't say anything at all, because she wins the turmoil game! You know, I understand his point to an extent, but this is getting out of control and I feel that the line needs to be drawn, NOW! So, tell me, in what interesting way would you approach this problem And do you think I am being over sensitive? Thank you for letting me vent, I do feel a bit better. ~Sheri |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I could see the restraint throughout this vent. Yours, not hers. Luckily, you are not alone in seeing the "wierd" in this person, and that's a good thing. Other neighbors are documenting her actions as well. More kudos. Y'know, there's always an explanation as to a person's actions. We just think they're nuts, but they are truly off-balance for a good reason, whatever it is. She could be mismanaging her medication, I would say she is definitely afraid of you and has to "bluff" her way through things, and she will lay blame for anything that occurs to her at someone else's door. In that light, could it be easier for you to say "she's sick" [in some form or another] and give her space? You [1] don't have to invite her into your home; [2] don't have to be 'neighborly'; [3] don't have to do anything but relay to the police when someone disturbs the peace; and [4] should be taking proper precautions that your house is locked, your pets/children are safe; and [5] know the neighbors you CAN trust. Not that anyone should form a vigilante group and get her out of the neighborhood, but it may be wise to talk to others who may know what could be wrong with her [other than just being nutty] so that the neighborhood as a whole can be watchful. |
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JasonE Junior Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 17 |
Irie, Man, I'm sure glad I don't have your neighbors. I feel really bad what they are doing to you and your family. Now I don't know if this is possible but have you tried to get a court order to keep them off your property? meaning every time one of them is on your property or especially in your house, you have the right to either sue or the cops can give them a fine or something. Perhaps, even jail time. also, it seems that your other neighbors the ones that are decent, are having problems with these people. If all of you banned together with the courts help you should be able to keep these fools off your property. With that court order in hand you can show the cops and hopefully justice will be served. I don't know if you can do that but you should ban together with your other neighbors to stop them. Perhaps, talk to a lawyer. Good luck to you. Hope it all works out.  |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
Bad neighbors.  I feel for you, there is nothing worse then haveing neighbors like that, I know mine are not peaches either, but atleast I don't find them in my shower or have them trying to take my cat away to be put down. jeeesh. I agree with what everyone said, some people are just plain nuts and need to be always causing fights. As a homeowner you do have rights, if it gets to the point where you just can't live with it anymore, I would seek professional advice. Wish I had better advice for you, I really feel bad and I hope things get better. Next time you see them give them one of these  for me. Take care I hope things get better soon.  [This message has been edited by Miah (09-23-2002 04:37 PM).] |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Man, she does sound weird. It sounds to me that you have been doing well at keeping your head on your shoulders throughout this. People like that can really get on everyone's nerves! I hope she gets her head on straight too. You may want to watch out for what she is saying about you--if she is lying about you to your husband who knows what else she is saying to who? Maybe you can sue her for slander or something if she keeps it up. Good luck!  --Beth Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You haven't said (unless I missed it) whether both parties own the property or rent... My guess being that everyone owns, that would make moving (the most effective solution) pretty difficult. Perhaps it's time for a big tall privacy fence?... along with a severence of communication? You've obviously never going to get along - You're driving yourself mad the way things are going...  |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
I suddenly have whole new appreciation for my neighbours! You seem to be very restrained and polite but I think you need to be very direct. Phone them, or if you can't stand to speak to them write them a letter, and tell them that you do not want any further contact with them at all. No phone calls, no them 'popping over' and that you consider any of them entering any part of your property as trespass. Also make a record of everything, of every incident as they happen, times, dates, details and get your other neighbours to do the same. Then you will have something to show the sheriff, we had a noisy neighbour problem once and that the first thing the police told us to do, make a record of everything. Also just to say well done for being so self controlled, I think I would have hit this wiman by now, or at least had a stand up screaming match with her, so well done and I really hope things get better! Anya |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
They just don't learn, do they?  The big fence like Nan said would be a good idea. It's not you isolating yourself from the world, it's you isolating THEM from YOUR world. They need to be told. Bluntness works extremely well. I seriously hope they stop soon as you don't need this kind of rubbish. Good luck.  "No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Sunshine I didn’t realize I was so restrained! LOL I sure don’t feel that way. Yes, MANY of the other neighbors have problems with her too. Mismanaging her medications? ROFL. Sorry, that cracked me up! Your statement about her being afraid of me is an eye opener, never looked at it that way. My mother thinks she is jealous of me. I guess both ideas make sense. I don’t invite her, she just shows up. The day before we went on vacation I was loading the Motor Home at around 9:00 PM, and when I returned in the house, she was sitting there in my chair watching a TV program because she couldn’t get her TV to work! Of course, my husband let her in and I could have slapped him. I just ignored her and went on about my business. And as far as the vigilante goes, I would say that 90% of the entire neighborhood is aware of this families presence. And they are all angry for one reason or another. JasonE I’m glad you don’t have my neighbors either, though I wish they’d go away, but then I’d feel sorry for who ever gets them for neighbors. Haven’t tried a court order, though that is an idea, if things continue in a down hill spiral. I should have pressed charges against the family and their son for breaking and entering miah I don’t think there is anything I can do as far as legal action, at this point anyway. I just wish they would have to move for some reason. I’d love to give them more than  skyshine She tries hard to “express” her concerns to everyone in the neighborhood. Fortunately, every one is on to her and knows what she’s all about. Nan We both own 2 ½ acres, and unfortunately, both homes we built on the inner corner of the property so we’re close. As far as privacy fence goes, I would love to build a 12-foot cement barrier around THEIR house. My other neighbor agrees! J anya You’re now the third person to tell me I seem to be restrained. I guess this is a big plus for me. Maybe I am growing up. Normally I would have been in her face by now, surely making things uglier than they already are. I don’t know which one of us is luckier, her or I? LOL A letter right now would be the best for me. As I stated earlier, I can be quick tempered when pushed, and she is a pusher, but plays dumb about it. I like the idea of a sign, maybe it can say; “Warning, I am running out of room in back yard to bury bodies!”  anonymousfemale Maybe if I show MY crazy side, I could scare them into learning, or maybe even moving! Just Make them go away!  Thank you all for your support and suggestions! I actually feel better already as many of you have made me giggle, and given some good advice. I will keep you posted of any near future details. Hugs to you all! ~Sheri |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
“Warning, I am running out of room in back yard to bury bodies!” Perfect!  |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hello Irie, Man that's a turd sandwich having neighbors like that. My suggestion is to make sure you properly document everything, date it, describe events, witnesses and maybe ask the other good neighbors to do the same. If you and your neighbors have a video camera, perhaps tape some of the shenanigans of the kids and or parents, record their phone calls too, that way if push comes to shove you and your good neighbors will have some kind of proof. Next consider researching your municipal and State laws governing such things...see if there is a way to legally force them to move. I dunno if there are such laws for residential property in your area but I know that in some places you can do that for a commercial business. Perhaps restraining orders might force their move? Perhaps completely ignore them, even when they speak to you don't reply. Just pretend they aren't even there? Maybe they'll just disappear Also perhaps consider hiring a private investigator to do a criminal and background check on them, find out where they used to live and if others have had problems as well. If they are as bad as you say I'm sure there is a long list of enemies....perhaps other neighbors will chip in for the cause. That way you can have a better idea of what kind of people you are dealing with and a head start if it becomes a legal matter. With something like the driveway...a lot of townships have provisions that can "force" the external upkeep of property. Maybe find out if this is the case. And if so, phone the township and say the driveway is a hazard and an eyesore. Then legally they will be held partially responsible. Also phone the SPCA if you find another pellet in your dog. They're pretty zealous when it comes to things like that and they don't take animal cruelty very lightly. Not only will it help protect your dog but it will also give you more documentation of your neighbors poor behaviour. I've had a couple nutty roomates who were at best difficult to live with...but I always had the option of kicking them out. I've never been in this particular situation so I don't know how helpful I am. But I don't think you should be the one who has to move...that just isn't fair....plus that only lets the bastards get away with it and almost justifies their actions. ANywho, sorry to hear about your delema..that really sucks. Trevor [This message has been edited by Trevor (09-25-2002 05:43 AM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
not saying its the "right" thing to do - but hun, i'd probably have had a lot less patience and already whooped her behind. hugs you |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Hey SunShine I am making the sign now!  Trevor A TURD SANDWICH? LOLOLOLOLOL I Love the phrase!  I like the idea of just pretending they are not there, but it's kind of hard someties. What's worse? She works at the school that my son just started going to! :< Chris Oh dear Chris...To tell you the truth, I don't know what has kept me from pounding her! Then again, this is now... there is still future! OK, OK, Just Kiddin', I Hope Thanks for the hugs, I needed them today! ~Sheri |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Irie--I did read this and had no idea what advice I could offer. Egads!!!! But? Perhaps you could arrange for a local coven to hold thier ritual esbat and Sabbat celebrations in full view of your neighbors. It calmed my sister's neighbors down considerably! |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
LOL serenity! That would for sure scare them! Then again, she may come running screaming Bible scripture at me while throwing Holy water. Maybe I can just borrow a wand to poke her in the eye with! HAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHE .... Sorry, I just cracked my self up! ~Sheri |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Why use a wand when there are frogs legs?  "No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (09-26-2002 03:57 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Irie? Here's another thing we did--grinning now...it wasn't quite a full moon--but almost and bright--kind of moon shine that casts shadows, y'know? So? We set up the barbecue pit, lawn chairs, etc. (Those reclining ones...) Then we put on beach attire and sunglasses, one of the guys even wore a straw hat...and looked for all the world like we were "moon-tanning"--faces tilted up to the sky! I think it was about midnight...the barbecue was done before sun up, but it was close! Thank GODDESS for "Ray-Bans!" Naw, the neighbors don't mess with us much. |
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