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Open Poetry #19
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Metronome
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Metronome |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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Metronome ©2002 C.G. Ward stepping stones away, the shadow of a single smile breathes a metaphor of silence into the penultimate cliché: chamfered edges of life, living love on opposing sides of a metronome’s strum. click – piously meting out the virtue of assumptive laughter deep inside the intricate beat of a hug click – forming a diameter of attraction cored into chance at the eave of a last, decisive compromise. click – spanning tones of distance across the yawning breadth of tomorrow’s carefree melody. click – cramping over an urn of loss, happiness residing in reminiscence and hope in the whisper of a promise. click – floating breezes of contentment, whirling in a wash of fulfillment and expectations borne of faith. click – … |
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| © Copyright 2002 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Christopher, I couldn't begin to critique your work.... but I will tell you "cramping over an urn of loss, happiness residing in reminiscence and hope in the whisper of a promise. floating breezes of contentment, whirling in a wash of fulfillment and expectations borne of faith." I liked this part best....  (nice picture, but no tongue???)  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Do you ever wear clothes to have a picture taken??? I like it.. ** floating breezes of contentment, whirling in a wash of fulfillment and expectations borne of faith ** I find this last verse speaks to my heart sir. I loved the whole poem, but this is perfectly said.  |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The thunder of blood in your veins... Well done. ThisDiamond |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
hey, danke for your time and comments - noticed two of you hit on the same spots - ironic, as i thought that stanza might have been the weakest. (shows what i know) and sharon - as a rule, i wear as little as i can get away with, considering company and climate S - no, it's still there, just tired from having been out so long (don't plus me K or M)C [This message has been edited by Christopher (02-26-2002 11:46 PM).] |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Wow!!!!This made me think.I enjyed this. peaches |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
loved the beautiful ending also...and I was wondering the same about clothing and you *s but I do like this picture better than the one where you only see your tongue. M |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
thanks you two - you know, with a name including the word 'naked' i bet you were wondering!  C |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
(didn't think to put one on...hmmmmmmmmmm  )Well. Unusual form here for you...I don't know..it seems somehow to be very monitored...constructed..the things I've read from you in the last year or so haven't seem so constructed as this or K of Y.. "yawning breadths' hey? Yeah - there are a few of those in life aren't there. I like it...it'll insult you if I tell you it's 'very deep' so I won't..heh...  K |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...first, thanks for the new pic.... second... this hurts... quote: but for all the right reasons... it's good to see you posting again... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love the body of work here, but the continuity of the ending is superb. Maybe it is just old age  but the longer the metronome clicks, the more I see the endings a beginnings, or perhaps just the an intro to the true beginning of artistry? (WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME THINK????) love this C. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Alas, you demand an opinion from a girl when she’s sick near to the point of delusion and five minutes past her break from sleep... and line by line was refused UNTIL said opinion was given... BUT let’s look at the factors that were lost in the haze of fever and dream-residue: LBL was requested BECAUSE... a) personal associations to possible subject matter were unavoidable, indeed, subconsciously searched out, then prayed upon... b) due to noted emotional attachments and the AWARENESS of them, unbiased review of above poem was unfeasible... c) author’s anal compulsion to list letters in alphabetical order resorted in irrational sentimental pout from beloved critic, erasing all possible reasonable judgments of cited poem... d) due to factors “a” and “b” and “c” (simply to assure absolute fairness, of course), assessment of the poem was obligatorily delayed until further elucidation from author could be contributed, which would annul a large percentage of impeding prejudice toward poem and contingent interpretation... THEREFORE, LBL was necessary for opinion to be established... not to mention the fact that to verbalize the impression formed of a poem (sans all former confusion) requires more energy and thought than that needed to make one bowl of Healthy Request Campbell’s Tomato Soup. Obliously, a requsite stated conclusion or sentiment before clarification is a ridiculous request... unless, of course, you DID want the reply “Wow, Christopher!” or "Great job! Hot pic!" or "will tell you later probably." (if so, such replications will be taken into account next time). That said... & After proper LBL was given... My damnable demanded deduction: Great peam. I like, muchly: very deep. I'll call you. ~m p.s. Uh-oh, the number of replies on this one are getting up there... you know what that means... [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (03-01-2002 03:30 AM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
aKtually K - it is rather deep... lol - but vague. intentionally so, though i think i may have overdone it a bit. and it is more structured - intentionally. hugZ Kari - welcome and thank you - it does hurt a little, but as long as there's still hope? Karen - it IS the beginning - every end of a metronome's swing is the beginning of the return trip..? eh? and i make you think because it's GOOD for you! M - fo. good try, but you still had an opinion before LBL, which was then modified by said recitation of LBL. had i not insisted on initial impression, i would have failed to find out what you truly percieved without the influence of my own perception following LBL - WHICH, i might add, was the case. your op changed substantially after i handed you LBL. so there.  C |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Lesson of the Day: Semantics, Revised or I Did NOT have an Opinion!!! word of question: opinion reference: bedside dictionary (okay, so it’s on the internet... same difference... besides, I can’t cut and paste from my Word Bible). opin·ion n. 1. A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof: “The world is not run by thought, nor by imagination, but by sex...er, opinion.”(megan incorrectly restating a quotation by Elizabeth Drew). 2. A judgment based on special knowledge and given by an expert: Chris’s opinion. 3. A judgment or estimation of the merit of a person or thing: has a low opinion of Modesto. 4. The prevailing view: the popular opinion at Passions. reference: Christopher opin·ion n. 1. i wanted to know what you felt/thought about [my poem] before i passed on my LBL reference: meganality opin·ion n. 1. in this case, full interpretation of poem, including subject matter, ‘meaning’, author’s competence in expressing message, style, presentation, and the definitive “I like this.” or “I don’t like this.”; a final, thoroughly prepared conclusion... *ahem* : “A belief or conclusion held with confidence” 2. that which did NOT exist, all reflexive mental conclusions being withdrawn until further knowledge could be obtained... (for fear of making assumptions... shaddup) Let me elaborate... Now that the actual idea meant to be conveyed (or concealed in ambiguity) has been disclosed, critic can detach emotional eyes from poem, and analysis is possible for any direction despite ‘real’ ‘meaning’. Consequently, initial idea of possible subject matter can be reviewed sans bias, and the ‘opinion’ regarding previous deciphering is allowed ‘freedom’, wholly detached from ‘new’ opinion based upon author’s ‘meaning’. Therefore, ‘opinion’ was NOT changed... instead, detained ‘opinion’ (while in truth, not developed, and honestly cannot be labeled an ‘opinion’, and from this point forward will be referred to as the ‘non-opinion’ or NO) was liberated by LBL, and SECOND opinion was formed. Alas, I did NOT have an ‘opinion’ before LBL, and first impression of ‘meaning’(the NO), not the total opinion of the poem, would have been granted after LBL, along with following evolution of NO into an opinion of poem As. A. Whole. using original concept of ‘meaning’(NO)... which, again, would be completely apart from the influence of LBL other than its previously mentioned overthrow of mental blockage. So THERE. (I didn’t say this made sense... you started it...) [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Cor (03-01-2002 05:10 PM).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I know it's deep. That's why I wasn't going to insult you by saying so. Sheesh. Go and ... go and... Go away! Heh Kps... M - sic him... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Denseness reigns...someone PLEASE tell me what LBL means besides what I think it means.... |
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Lia Fail Member
since 2002-02-26
Posts 80 |
Wow!! no words. speechless. Lia |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
heh - thanks Lia. and you cor - very good, we'll hit the finer points later, eh? k - i AM away. geesh. Kari - Line By Line lol - the by-product of lazy fingers. LOL hugs all C |
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