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Open Poetry #19
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2002-04-01 10:00 PM



Love Through Laced Glass


Someone knocked…
The stairs were not carpeted,
the pattern
her tapping feet made
was as familiar as the cadence
of her voice.

Through the laced glass
she saw a man silhouetted
in slender strength
looking,  looking
towards the red rock sunset
which melted
like crayons left
in hot summer sun.

She opened the door
and heard his voice,
tender from a dream
she had forgotten,
and saw his eyes smile
brown and direct
from skin like a rice paper map.

She could feel the fingertip
fragile touch to trace
each line to its beginning
in her glancing.

Her frolicking hair
was in her eyes,
and she tucked loose strands,
as if importance curled
her identity into a wisp
that flew into his space
and made her feelings visible.

His hands were big
with calluses nestled
into the curve of his palm
as he drank coffee
from her dear china cup.

He looked
at the worn glass,
dusty with buried days,
and a marble,
colored like bright fish
and a pickle jar
of burnt orange sand
she had set on the counter.  

He seemed to understand,
and the sweetness that came
toward her in the kitchen
as the sun fell into time
was as familiar
as the pattern
her tapping feet made
on the stairs.
_________
3-00

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-04-01 10:07 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwwww, I love this, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always paint with Crayola colors and buzzes with life and butterflies and flowers before our very eyes! (kiss on cheek) This whole love vision seemed just like it could be depicted on a stained glass window, sweet friend, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2002-04-01 10:12 PM


Martie~

'heard his voice,
tender from a dream
she had forgotten'


This line reminds me of someone~
Thank you~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2002-04-01 10:44 PM


Martie~
You write with a gentle intensity that draws me in and sets the mood so clearly.

It's all so good!!
Very!!!!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
4 posted 2002-04-02 05:05 AM


In one word,

beautiful...

regards, Martie,
Sudhir

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2002-04-02 06:57 AM


"looking,  looking
towards the red rock sunset
which melted
like crayons left
in hot summer sun."

Ah, just breath-taking Martie. Too many exquisite phrases to copy .. the imagery is simply superb. I love how your words always make me "feel" ... at the same time as "see" the action taking place. You have an amazing talent.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

6 posted 2002-04-02 07:03 AM


Interesting...your usual command of imagery shows through M...

She opened the door
and heard his voice,
tender from a dream
she had forgotten,
and saw his eyes smile
brown and direct
from skin like a rice paper map.

sigh......

A suggestion: how about making 'were not' into 'weren't' in the second line? It's a bit stiff as is...

Hugs, K


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2002-04-02 07:09 AM


This is beautiful, so visually perfect.
Sandra

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2002-04-02 09:13 AM


wonderful imagery Martie...and you do set the scene so well for the reader we feel like we are there...



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2002-04-02 09:16 AM



What the Captain said...this had a beautiful ghostly feel to it...not real at all, and very, very tenable all the same...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
10 posted 2002-04-02 09:19 AM


Lovely scene ms Martie
enjoyed it so much

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