Open Poetry #19 |
Like Trees Through Seasons |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
All our beginnings are - wait - we compare to cars grazing roads past houses, smooth within the hushed interior of soft music or skidding crazy on roads out to Huia covered in rain and dead leaves I would like to lay alongside you and find the peace-green sea and along the shore Huia lies like the curve of a belly: that place when you lay your hand you’re holding love drifted and soaked separated only by air out there in my haven on a rock no one has understood how essential the shadows of layered shadow are on the moulded sides of the land sprawled like naked mothers, after birth and those were my dreams I cast out over the small fishing boats and gulls while others sat next to me, unaware Yes, all our beginnings are - hold - I’ve thought of it yet again: how my impressions of you are embryonic word-crafted, and when I reach we’re unformed but always there in the white light that follows epiphany, riding tides: you and me crazy-mad headlong out there where dreams are thrown [This message has been edited by Severn (03-28-2002 09:00 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Before you ever reached the words belly or embryonic, I had the vision of a child floating in their safe world.... how good to see you gracing the blue pages again with your artistry! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, I think you have said more than you intended but you did it so well I can only say excellent. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and along the shore Huia lies like the curve of a belly: that place when you lay your hand you’re holding love drifted and soaked separated only by air out there in my haven on a rock no one has understood how essential the shadows of layered shadow are on the moulded sides of the land sprawled like naked mothers, after birth First..I love the whole piece for its images and blend of word thoughts... but this is my favorite passage and contains for me an essence of something personal in my understanding and enjoyment... As usual... so well crafted as to make a hack like me envious..and eager to read the next offering from your pen.. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
This was really beautiful in both its imagery and form. You certainly do have an amazing talent with words! Lovely! Take care. amy "you can't stop |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla Tender and unique deep thought flowing...a big click of a poem, my dear...just wonderful! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Wow, this is wonderful, sweet friend, I too love the imagery you use and how you express it with how you feel! (sigh) I love it, sweet friend, your words always amaze me, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kamla, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
... repetitionrepetitionrepetition hold ... and again/still mincing through unfit words to express the feelings/thoughts/visions a few words strung tightly together can bring out... or maybe i should just say 'optimistic?' Hugs K - will think more about this one. I think there's a layer i'm missing somewhere. C |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Excellent. Never been to Huia, but I have been there. You know what I mean. Nicely done. e |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Headlong is good Sort of speeding through situations One never lacks for excitement Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
wating on life. . . and on beginnings. . . and then, waiting on what. . . endings?? I like the way that you used the "wait" and "hold" to tell the reader to "stop and see what I've written, don't just rush headlong into the rest of it. . . " the middle is a wonderful picture of being in love. . . but yet, still on hold. . . a feeling that pervades this. . . love. . . and life. . . still on hold. . . the flow is very good. . . even with the holds. . . it makes it not rushed, as I said, so that we really stop and read what you're trying to say. . . excellent my friend. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Menage #1 Junior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 28 |
Headlong in dreams.. what better place to be... This is fabulous, Kamla... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
sea and along the shore Huia lies like the curve of a belly: that place when you lay your hand you’re holding love drifted and soaked separated only by air out there in my haven on a rock no one has understood how essential the shadows of layered shadow are on the moulded sides of the land sprawled like naked mothers after birth SB, this is just wow, I really loved this. excellent m'dear, the imagery just jumps out. Maree |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Amazing vision and beautiful dreamy work!! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
but always there in the white light that follows epiphany, riding tides: you and me crazy-mad headlong out there where dreams are thrown Beautiful poetry Severn, I can almost picture the casting of dreams, like throwing caution to the wind, watching and waiting to see what comes back to us. Impressive work indeed. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Love this- quote: and the rest is pretty good too.. J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I keep coming back to this... reading, readying... and still, I don't have what I have to say yet... but I want you to know, I'm visiting, turning it over (and over) ... until the right ... something... comes. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
It has been a while, but I have finally managed to read your work... This is awesome... I enjoyed the various images that pop out of the words... Images in words... and what a unique and special style... envious as always... my dear friend, Kamla... Regards to you, Sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Kari...thank you mamaK...I always appreciate your words to me... Sy...nope, I said it all how I wanted. Your excellent means much...hugs Ron...you're not a hick, not by any means. (remember my email...that's an order heh). Thank you.. Amy...thank you for stopping in. Hope you're doing well..and thanks for your kind words. Martie...glad it gave you a click Love ya, thanks.. Noah...thank you for your kind words.. C...now I know the missing layer, I can only say - I agree. Hugs and thanks. It begins in S k? Krawdad...I do, everyone has their Huia right? thank you.. Interloper...oh yes, excitement there is..but also..peace. Cheers.. Sven...I think you're fairly accurate here...it's appreciated...tankees you.. Menage...and you know it! Mmy...hey girl, I miss you! Hugs and thanks for your words.. Ethome...well, it is the stuff of dreams after all..thank you! Blues..thanks for the impressive, means a lot..hugs for your words.. J - you can have a pout... Glad you're back matey. Megs...I know. Love you. Suddy...so nice to see you! Have a big hug my friend..thank you.. K |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"and those were my dreams I cast out over the small fishing boats and gulls while others sat next to me, unaware" "and me crazy-mad headlong out there where dreams are thrown" Sigh .... Kamla, you actually brought a tear to my eye with this piece this morning. It reminded me so much of a special time and special place when I used to sit and dream as a young girl. You captured an emotion that I far too often lose site of these days ... thank you for bringing it back in this delightfully moving piece. PS ... check your mail, I wanted to send you something. Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
yes....this is the peace of vision that arouses thought enjoyed it lady |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I’ve thought of it yet again: how my impressions of you are embryonic word-crafted, and when I reach we’re unformed but always there in the white light that follows epiphany, riding tides: you and me crazy-mad headlong out there where dreams are thrown just had to visit this again... and found this passage sticking out in my mind as I read it.... the flow and form this work offers the reader moves us into the thoughts and so mirrors the way thoughts progress... again.... my compliments |
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