Secrets (Collaberation with Cherish)

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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2002-03-30 06:42 AM

Secrets

There sits a plain black
                  Box
Upon an ornamental shelf
Concealing within its straight lines
A trembling heart of stone
That
       B
         L
           E
             E
               D
                 S
In shrouded silence

As time curtains it with a
Grey mist
It fades upon its mantel

Screams of its defiance
Heard as whisper s in a storm
Lost  carelessly between
Its daily masquerade

---------------------------------------------------
Well first of I want to say thank you to Cherish for putting up with me and letting me work with her as she is such a wonderful poet.

Secondly I want to say that this is mainly her work and I feel a little guilty for posting it but she made me.
Thirdly I hope you all enjoy it

Andrew

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

1 posted 2002-03-30 01:32 PM

this is actually an interesting exploration of the concept of secrets as an object. i liked it.

Christopher

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-03-30 02:25 PM

(smiles) Wow, oooohhhhhh...this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, you two make such a great team! (big hugggssssss) Your wonderful words both make me smile, this is wonderful, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Andrew and Cherish, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2002-03-30 07:19 PM

*grins* Well should I extend the congratulations to Cherish for such an excellent poem, or to you? Or maybe both... that sounds about right, don't you think? Don't stop writing, Andrew. Just don't stop writing.

I am a geek!!

Aerhercnian
Junior Member

since 2002-03-14

Posts 10
Listening

4 posted 2002-03-31 07:50 AM

Way to go

I really loved this you guys should work together more often

And there stood Aechercnian silent and calm listening to the trees.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2002-04-01 05:49 PM

*hugs*

Loved it! Simply wonderful, you two!

Very..... dark, but not in the usual dark way. You painted a misty, dark, and cloudy picture in my mind. As if near the seashore. And I saw your words through it, as they painted a picture of secrets being lost in time, their screams never heard again.

A trembling heart of stone
That
       B
         L
           E
             E
               D
                 S
In shrouded silence

Powerful, you too. Pukka poetry.

~ Titus

"My body is merely the canvas of my soul."
~ The Night Owl

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

6 posted 2002-04-02 10:22 AM

continue collaborating together..the idea of a secrets in a box put to a poem is novel, well done

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2002-04-02 10:27 AM

Cherish & MarshalZu~
Very, very nicely portrayed you two !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

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