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Open Poetry #19
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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-03-30 05:40 AM



Struggling

I feel this pressure building,
in my chest,
a feeling of unknowing.
Each sleepless night,
I wonder, will this be my last?

Will I never have the comfort
of arms to surround me
in warmth of loving again?
I am becoming passive,
the struggling to answer,
taking its toll.

I dream you there,
almost smiling,
taking the place of what once was,
now devil-like to me.
So many times you were correct,
while I was blinded
by wishful thinking.

I am nothing at times to someone
who once was my everything.
I give everything to someone
who is now my nothing.
And why? What possesses me to do this?

In some of my darkest hours,
I am invisible to him, yet
I am sustaining his life,
while mine is draining.
I am not a ventful person,
but in these early morning hours
my mind sees clearest,
while it waits for the door to open
and the personality change.


[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (03-30-2002 05:41 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-03-30 05:44 AM


nakdthoughts,
isn't it amazing what midnight revelations bring. Amazing insight.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 2002-03-30 01:35 PM


some heavy thoughts for this beautiful day. well placed and a stream of consciousness i can relate to on a very personal level.

peace

Chris

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
3 posted 2002-03-30 01:41 PM


Such sad thoughts, Maureen...
Please cheer up and love yourself....
as all of your friends here at the blue pages love you.
~hearty hugs for cheer~

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2002-03-30 02:36 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Maureen, this sounds so very dad, my heart goes out to you for all our thoughts are with you always and you will pull through! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, you are never alone! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maureen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2002-03-30 03:12 PM


The life that exudes in your work is extraordinary. I have pulsed through these wee hours myself, and they are sometimes all too clear...and then the ankle chain breaks and we fly free. All happiness to you. ThisDiamond
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147
Tulsa, OK, USA
6 posted 2002-03-30 04:06 PM


How close to how many hearts has this one passed?  Beautifully expressed in its dire sadness.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2002-04-02 04:25 PM


Yes sometimes life does require a certain amound of reflection to gather priorities and to clearly understand the correct choices that need to be made to place us on a good path...James
Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
8 posted 2002-04-02 04:31 PM


Your words and images captured the essence of that struggle very well!
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2002-04-02 05:37 PM


After all those positive words you now give us these sad words
The bright part is you are a wonderful poet

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

brianbeaudry
Member
since 2001-07-20
Posts 410
Northern Ontario Canada
10 posted 2002-04-02 06:42 PM


You can find answer to your worth in the responces of your friends Maureen. They can see the beauty and compassion of this poetess and feel the love she gives so freely. Embrace tight those that love you dear friend, and show love to those that don't.
Sending a compassionate arm around your shoulder and a gentle hug your way.

[This message has been edited by brianbeaudry (04-02-2002 08:52 PM).]

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
11 posted 2002-04-02 07:55 PM


M,
Hey...plug that drain!!! You do in fact have a future and are well worthy of all the love you seek. Courage friend. Courage.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
12 posted 2002-04-02 08:29 PM


Wow M.  this says an awful lot....have faith
girl...you will see the light...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2002-04-02 09:14 PM


thank you, each..I am having problems with a stubborn cough..my struggle is really with that..but when I begin writing I am never too sure where I will go with my thoughts..here I was thinking how much I still do for my husband who no longer wishes to be..and how little I get in return for it..and from one day to the next when he  confronts me, his personality changes..that's all..it wasn't mean to be sad "I"..and was probably written before the happier ones...

hugs
M

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