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Open Poetry #19
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Late Night Swooning
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Late Night Swooning |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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Sitting at an empty table he watches from the corner bored by the two bit acts in a night club hasn't kept him from coming back for more. To listen to the man who plays the blues making love to his saxophone his passion blowing through the room while he wagers the pros and cons and the risk of taking it out in trade. The piano player croons sliding his hands across the keys whispering into a microphone as he swivels on a stool, his lyrics written from a memory. A woman dancer sings the same tune her smile painted between the lines keeping rhythm with the base and other players. a lack luster performance, glossing over the shine. Forcing her smile into place running her tongue over her lips as she lowers her eyes bleeding the blues, least she ever forgets. Fading into her refrain blowing her last kiss a familiar song and dance as she sweeps across the floor. Earns her a wink and a roll from the man in the corner applauding his approval telling her she is more than fine, just to see the sparkle in her eyes. But her heart is not in her song and she ponders what she's known all along; That there is more to life than two bit acts and late night swooning to the blues.... |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Lori, OMG you really did it! Wow...awesome. I want more of this. I've never been there but don't have to imagine anymore. Well done girl. Well done indeed.  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks Larry, you are just too nice, don't ever stop being so wonderful!  |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
"More to life than two bit acts" Indeed. Thanks for the read Hopelessly in love |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Wow this is great blues, I enjoyed every word of it. floria Floria |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Lori, A good write and a delightful read. Enjoyed |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
This was great..loved it Lori..nicely penned hugs  ~Victoria~
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Awwwwwwww, I love the blues, sweet friend, your gorgeous words shine with thoise simple pleasures that good times roll in and poetic jazz! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, I could hear the trumpets and saxophones reading this, this is wonderful! You have such a beautfiul heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Incredible write Lori,  The images were crisp and the story flowed perfectly from start to finish...Well done! |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
WOW!!!! This is magnificent!!!! I love the way you swirl the blues all through this poem. ***Ivy Rose |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Lori: here's a much-deserved Bumpage for your all too good poem! You told me once, you had a hard time describing events, and were more comfortable with describing scenery. Sweetheart, you have crossed the realm from heart-poems into Pro-land with this. Whatever you did, do it again! I can't tell you how impressed i am with this, Lor. Mannnnnnn! seee.....all it took was confidence! You got there, tho, and with a gargantuan leap! ~huuuugg~ Jeff |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks for reading everyone. I was trying to be different for a change. Appreciate your nice replies. Thanks again and hugs all around~ |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A great one here, Lori But her heart is not in her song and she ponders what she's known all along; That there is more to life than two bit acts and late night swooning to the blues.... I especially loved this last verse.  ~hugs~copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Lyra~ That verse just about wraps it up, I'm glad you liked it too. Thank you dear heart! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Nicely done..reminds me of a couple I wrote about blues...and clubs.. but yours captures from the outside the image and the story...leaving us to wonder and what of the conclusion...the realization came in the end..but how did it change things? We can write our own answer to that...making the piece appealing in that it can be applied by anyone to where ever they are in life's decisions and situation. I like the form...and the insight... She moaned saxaphone style letting her voice carry dreams now an octave lower than hope across the rook. Her heart bled half noted responses to changing tempo to pool at my feet in crimson only to turn black when exposed to stale aired lines so often used. She sang the blues while I was Sorry..inspired me with yours...so off the top of me head it comes... again... nice work..and one I enjoyed. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Why do you say sorry, that was really nice of you. Thanks for starting my Monday off with such nice thoughts. I liked all those lines, so I won't pick and choose. I think of responses such as yours as a gift of words, and I thank you for them. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you are more than welcome.. I apologize, because some are offended..feeling perhaps poetic replies are efforts to upstage or just show off. I intend neither...but am moved by the words of others at times to spout off my own weak version of what I read or where I could take what I have read... Notes dropped from his sax to shatter on the floor rolling like marbles under my feelings sliding my heart Resonance played with echoes of other days half dreamed wishes that were in tune but out of tempo Then she sang with whiskey voice telling of more years more tears while I wiped mine |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Lots of things happening here. You made a clear vision of the people and the atmosphere. Sandra |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Cpat~ Weak you say? Hardly!!! Thanks again, I am out of here, have a great day where ever you are. Sandra~ I've always got a million things going on in my head. Same old song and dance but I'm changing my tune for the sake of singing a different song. Some things get old after while. lol~ Thanks for reading. |
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