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LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697


0 posted 2004-04-21 05:17 PM


I guess something like this would go better in Feelings, but I don't want just anyone seeing this, I suppose.

I thought God gave me a gift... I thought I was a musical person. I got into every music school I auditioned for, and I thought that was a sign that I was doing the right thing. I got into university and it was 1000 times harder than my worst nightmare. I got through it the first semester and got on the dean's list, with everyone praising me. I thought that was a sign too, that I was on the right track.

And now.. I'm going to fail a class.

Aural music theory. Ear training. Basically they play stuff and you write things down about it. It's so easy for everyone but me... I struggled with part it first semester and managed a B, but now it's going to be a D, which isn't acceptable for my degree program, or maybe even an F. I have to take four parts to get my degree.

I've failed. I'm not what I thought I was... I'd change majors, but what to? English, writing.. I don't remember the last time I wrote for pleasure. Plus... I thought I was better at music than I was at writing... so I must REALLY be horrible at writing if I'm this bad at music.

My parents are off on their second honeymoon, I don't want to tell them. I'm tempted not to.. I want to run away with my boyfriend.. I wanted this before I knew I was in trouble with my grades, but he wants me to stay in school... HA!

He's still pushing me to keep trying. I guess thats how he loves me, but thats not what I want to hear right now. I don't know what I want to hear. I guess I just want someone to listen...

I wish I was better at listening, I would have passed then...

God... music is so beautiful.. I thought I was a part of it. A vocalist... an instrument fashoned by God. I used to think I was one of those...

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (04-21-2004 07:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
Kevin
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since 1999-11-02
Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
1 posted 2004-04-22 02:44 AM


There isnt one person on these forums that hasnt failed at something at one point in their life.  If music is your love, and it was important enough to you to major in, than you should stay with your passion.  Tell your parents, its not something to be ashamed of.  They love you anyway.  Work your hardest to close out the semester and let the chips fall as they may.  It is not our mistakes that make us, it is our attitude.

You will overcome.

Good luck.

Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2004-04-22 03:31 AM


I'd like to talk to you personally about this issue.  But, it reminded me of a poem that I read a while ago and found really intriguing.

quote:
Introduction to Poetry, by Paul Lake

She comes in late, then settles like a sigh
On the first day, returning every week
Promptly at ten, each Monday Wednesday Friday,
To study Shakespeare, Jonson, Donne, and Blake;

Enters the room to an approving murmur,
Straightens her dress, then, brushing back her hair
Arches her body with the slightest tremor
And sits, while the room grows breathless, in her chair,

Sits for an hour, while busy sophmores worry
Each turgid line, a Botticellian smile
On her rapt face, wh o's learned who little study
Love involves; who, walking down the aisle,

Knows in her bones how little poetry
Words breathe, and how---on turning to go home---
All eyes will watch her rise above her "C"
And walk off, like a goddess on the foam.

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2004-04-22 10:36 AM


I could not have said it better than Kevin, nor offered any wiser poetic reply than LP's.
One course does not set the course of your life. If music is truly your domain, stay with it, and ride that roller coaster no matter where it takes you. I have failed at more things than I ever succeeded in, and yet? I am well over 50 and refuse to view my life as being corralled by markers of failure and loss.
Good luck. I agree with your friend, stay the course this time.
As for the aural thing, music interpretation is so subjective. Is this a case of you interpreting something differently than the mainstream? How can anyone say your interpretations/thoughts aren't equally valid? hugs to you

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