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Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2005-12-12 08:06 PM

Something is just not right,
like it was the other night
before we had a knockdown fight.

Seems like I was wrong
and it didn't take too very long
for you to sing again that song:

'Looks like there ain't a thing
I've done right or anything
and why your finger got no ring.'

How'd we get to this place
where we don't speak face to face
without angry words we can't erase?

Seems I heard about another place.
Heard about another man's face
and how he made your heart race.

Here I thought I'd never see
you with him and me with me;
an evil game to rouse my jealousy.

There's some games I won't play;
have yourself a pleasant day.
Don't get up, I'll find my own way.

I know in time you'll tire of him,
thinking that we can begin again,
but this time let's be less than friends.

Alicat
12-12-05

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-12-12 10:14 PM

less than friends?

or more...

passion is funny that way...

and whoa--I was so not expecting this.

But then, yer funny that way.

You found y'groove tho. That you did.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2005-12-13 08:22 AM

It's all I have
to give at the
moment...this
hit so close.

well, I've got a
few of those left...

.

Cloud 9
Senior Member

since 2004-11-05

Posts 980
Ca

3 posted 2005-12-13 11:13 AM

"There's some games I won't play;
have yourself a pleasant day.
Don't get up, I'll find my own way.

I know in time you'll tire of him,
thinking that we can begin again,
but this time let's be less than friends."

I love this part the most, but all of it was awesome. I'm feeling this..

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2005-12-13 01:06 PM

Loved it.

Completely.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2005-12-13 04:24 PM

"Don't get up, I'll find my own way."
almost verbatim, a ghost comment from the past that slipped from these lips as I made my way to the nearest exit
~sigh~ life is rougher some days than others

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

6 posted 2005-12-13 11:53 PM

I can hear "Hat's off to Larry" playing in the background. You wear your feelings well, 'cat

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

7 posted 2005-12-14 11:47 AM

Thanky for all the responses. I was surprised by this one, since I was actually able to take a picture and thought in my head and write it down before it completely vanished. Which is the norm lately. Gotta love the 'poof' factor.

More to the point, this ain't cathartic. I don't hold too well with that theme. *chuckle* The inspiration was hearing that insipid song, 'Why Can't We Be Friends', played ad nauseum in little bite sized chunks on VH1's Celebrity Feuds. So of course I tweaked the general theme to 'Less Than Friends'.

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

8 posted 2005-12-14 05:22 PM

"Here I thought I'd never see
you with him and me with me;
an evil game to rouse my jealousy."

Awesome times. Ali brings me back to comment here! I wonder if they thought I was dead

An awesome piece.. I love the rhythmic undertone it has, it really brings a lot to the overall feeling of the piece. Awesome!

Music pours over the sense
And in a funny way
Music sees more than I..it remembers better...
I have forgotten all the rest-Anne Sexton

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

9 posted 2005-12-19 09:55 PM

Much enjoyed this Alicat.
hugs, Chris

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2005-12-20 05:56 PM

God, this reminded me of Dylan, Ali.
(his attitude)

*grin*

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

11 posted 2005-12-27 05:55 PM

nice very nice.

oh and does the fact that I am 23 and know the song "Hats off to Larry" make me wierd?

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

12 posted 2005-12-27 06:04 PM

lol
hats off to larry
hmmm
i know that song
but it sure doesn't go with the larry i care about

just had to come back to this one today
for another laugh at how music makes the world go 'round and dips the writer's quill into the inkwell

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

13 posted 2005-12-27 07:04 PM

Yanno, I'm just gonna have to see if I can request that song sometime, so I can actually listen to it. *chuckle* As far as I can tell, and granted my memory ain't nearly what it was halfway through these 35 years, I've never heard that one. So I guess I oughta, so I can understand the references to 'Hats off to Larry'.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

14 posted 2006-09-30 12:20 PM

That's risky, using such a light, almost whimsical style with something so deadly serious...all kinds of chances to fail. But this time the contrast really brings it out! Writing this took a much more deft touch than the casual reader might think.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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