Dear Cynthia, Why Leave Us? (So Young)

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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-06-04 10:47 PM

Dear Cynthia, Why Leave Us? (So Young)

Empty, with an eye open left
To watch the door float from vision,
Winding its path down a breath
Gone by, sliding past photo prisons
Bound in stained oak's bark, with some smile
Faded, lips sag as if to say:

"Empty, we are full of space", I squint
And remember those who slid through,
They waltz with the boldest, blank print
Stares back at the de*th calls--poor you,
I still float along here, to hint
That playgrounds are in heaven, too.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

1 posted 2004-06-07 09:06 AM

Your poems always make me think.

The title alone made me wonder, who is Cynthia, why is she leaving, where is she going, how is she young? Is she, perhaps, dying? But the use of the word 'leave' makes me think she is going intentionally, or that she has some choice in the matter... however...

the bell for second period is sounding in precisely ten seconds.. I'll be back.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2004-06-07 11:47 AM

I like your style of writing but I kind of felt lost within the middle of that second stanza, that aside I did enjoy the read.

Andrew

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2004-06-11 06:49 PM

thank you both very much

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

4 posted 2004-07-19 07:49 PM

"I still float along here, to hint
That playgrounds are in heaven, too"

That's actually quite comforting when you think of it...another thought to store when I find myself thinking of ones that have left...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

5 posted 2004-07-31 10:33 PM

Hehe, I was about to quote that same couplet. A very interesting write, although it is sad, it echos of comfort and peace as well. The people on the other side do come to us in ways, I believe. A nice write.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

6 posted 2006-09-29 06:50 PM

Such an insight! They are....and I think that would apply to any beloved place, whether playground or some grassy hillside.

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