Poetic Haven |
O' Soul Of Mine (LP - Not A Sonnet) |
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
O' soul of mine, thy path is drawn sleepless nights and endless dawn bound within this silent song Thy heart - thou wander'st - yet not in vain upon thy blistered windowpane epitome of eternal disdain O' soul of mine, rid thee of pain O' soul of mine, thy river deep the moon a silent watch do keep a guard within my endless sleep Thy mind, save thee from perilous plight protector from inherent fright through this restless, bleeding blackened fight O' soul of mine, bid thee goodnight O' soul of mine, cataclysmic maze I beg of thee, spite this burning rage unlock the chains which bound thy gaze Appear before me, angels which keep secrets held and hushed asleep reveal to me what I have reaped O' soul of mine, thy fingers creep O'soul of mine, I do implore release thy burden, unleash the core impart such key, unlock thy door Show unto me, what I have foreseen shimmering diamond of heart so clean a fragment of recurring dream O' soul of mine, an endless stream O' soul of mine, I have awakened thy pain endured has now been taken this heart of mine, hath not forsaken A simple thing, a seed belonging planted in thy heart's sweet longing has risen to thy kiss of morning O' soul of mine, one rose adorning [This message has been edited by littlewing (09-23-2003 05:57 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is the kind of poetry that, if I'd have written it, I'd be trying to get everyone to read it. If I had written this and read it over again, Suzie, I'd be very, very pleased with myself. Thank you for reminding me what it is that I should be aiming for with my poetry. Your style is top-notch, and the scheme you've chosen (iambic tetrameter in most places) flows wonderfully with your writing. On a side note, I encourage you to look up the word "naught." Much love, Brian Faith is a fine invention |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brian, I knew that didn't sound right . . . *smile* thank you who has stolen Brian and whoever has please put him back this instant! Thank you for reading and for such beautiful comments! Oh My, made me really smile, you did . . . One day I shall write it perfectly promise (in most places laughing here, I know) you are too good to me Suzie xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (09-23-2003 05:58 PM).] |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
LP is right, sweety...You should be proud of this. This write, like the work of LP, is beyond me. Lovely the way you can actually say something while wearing the handcuffs of structure and rhyme! Kisses M'love Ed [This message has been edited by wranx (09-24-2003 11:43 PM).] |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Sue?..this is gorgeous... Agreeing with Brian and Ed...be proud of this one...smile. And?...smiling at this part... "O' soul of mine, I have awakened thy pain endured has now been taken this heart of mine, hath not forsaken A simple thing, a seed belonging planted in thy heart's sweet longing has risen to thy kiss of morning O' soul of mine, one rose adorning" Love the smiling voice of contentment in those lines. Love and hugs to you, me sis... When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. -Jimi Hendrix [This message has been edited by vlraynes (09-23-2003 11:30 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nurture this style, Sue... not everyone can, though some try... and you excel. Teach us... and let Bri have his moments... he's a good guy that way... |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
One of if not your best Sue |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
VERY nice sue, like i said, from strength to strength with yer writes. ~I wanna live, I wanna give, I've been a miner for a heart of gold~ Neil Young |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Sue- I don't know how I missed this the first time. It is truly an inspired write from an inspiring lady. We are all equal but we’re individually different |
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