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Jagged Days
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Jagged Days |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I thank you for your hospitality among these jagged days. You were too sweet, swaddling arms around my relapsed form. Your body heat was like a blanket. You kept the winter out. You made sure the water was full, a kettle on the coals. All I can offer you in thanks is that I know your face. The light is sharp when details blur, another walk away. But your eyes, their colored light, orient my stumbling ways. You keep the bandages warm and tight against these jagged days. If I ever lose my way, if I slip and fall behind, if I never know our place I will always call you kind. I know that is a useless comfort, as words disintegrate. But I will thank you once more for holding to me these jagged days. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The slow drift into patterned rhyme was a bit of a surprise, but as always, I like to consider the form as part of the intent-- and I thought this rather effective, mike--as it the form starts out loose conveying a disjointed feel to the message,--like someone grasping to find the feeling in the memory-- and then the rhyme scheme parlayed into a sense of comfort in the memory... I DO still study you, yanno. Yer a friggin' genius. smooches. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I got the feeling of wistful rememberance from this... And yes, this form was a surprise "friggin' genious" Yep |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Well done, Mikey. I like this a lot. ~Tier |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
i'm running out of adjective... I'm running out of good adjectives... ahh. You're using up all my good adjectives! You're just too good, too good. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
smile Im bettin a SONG cooked this one up in your head... it's got that feel to it textmusicture |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I have no idea why but this reminds me of the hospital . . . when you were messing with my head again, you are xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (08-08-2003 04:12 AM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I use to feel like that once Mike, the comfort of knowing another like that... a very loving poem M |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
nicely done, Mike... enjoyed the intent, content and the form... regards sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mikey I find a sense of regret and greatful in this. As always, well done! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, all, for reading. And yes, there was a song in my head, but I have no idea what it was. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Gratitude can be a very effective form of repayment... especially when it comes to something that requires a good investment of thought and emotion, like a poem does. I'm sure this person you speak of would ask for no more from you. Great writing as always, Mike... very enjoyable. Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, LP. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
keeping this. nuff said. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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