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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

0 posted 2003-08-02 12:35 PM


Heart Shot

mama
whore
baby
slut
once
upon
smiling an innocent smile
to match smiling words
clever reassurance.
Spoke of promise
neverending
sacredness
true,true
tis love
really
love.
Along comes a slipperly evil sucubus , a carhop whore, evil slut
whispering sweet til it gets what it wants...
all the cash hidden in ones heart...
then spits you out... next !... waiting in line;
always the fool chasing, slave to putrid instant gratification...
What can
one do when
finally finding
and it bites them
sucks them dry of tears
voice horse from screaming
into the merciless uncaring night
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME”
mama
whore
baby
slut
once
upon
you darkling you
heart shot never healing.


~~~~~~~~

  

[This message has been edited by Tramp Poet (08-02-2003 12:54 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2003-08-03 04:28 PM


Dark reading but I do like the presentation but you will have to enlighten me on just what it is that I'm looking at, great reading though, thanks for sharing it with us

Andy

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2003-08-09 06:50 AM


I'm also unsure what the presentation is supposed to represent.  It's obviously a distinct shape of some sort but it's difficult to determine what it's meant to be.

I think the presentation forced you into some nice word choices.  Neat how formatting can do that for poetry sometimes... enjoyed reading this, Tramp... share with us some more.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
3 posted 2003-08-09 03:40 PM


To me it appears to be a multisemetrical person, or a christmas tree ornament.  I never was very good with these guessing games..

This honestly reminds me of something a freind of mine might whisper in there sleep, which amazes me because you seem to have captured everything in its intirety.

Nice.

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
4 posted 2003-08-09 06:22 PM


My interpretation at least of the shape of the writing is two arrows. One up, one down, squeezing a heart of all emotion. Since I know where this is borne I shall say no more other than I cry with you Dan. Love and Hugz, Your Sister, Shawna
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...
5 posted 2003-08-10 09:47 AM


obviously...as with all poetry it is entirely up to one's own interpetation...
isn't that the jewell of poetry...the ability to make it unique and personal?
anyhoo...yes dear sister as usual you know me! the representation is of past and present with both arrows shot into the center of one's heart. lol perhaps a bit too oblique?
thanks to y'all for the input...appreciated!

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