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PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2003-08-04 03:36 AM

Note: I'm not sure about a title for this one. Any ideas, let me know.

Untitled

Desire and want mesh in the dark regions,
as you wonder if you are right, or if you are wrong.
You brandish your weapons against yourself,
wanting to find the answers to the questions,
the questions which plague your mind and soul.

Moral boundaries and consequences are wrought
with passion within you, as you face the reality
of a future of uncertainty, that which you once
confidently thought secure and solid no longer so.
You realize you are lost, floating in this life.

You past rears it's haunting presence about you
now and then, here and there. You feel it breathing
in the crevices of your being, you know it will
always be there with you, as certain as each coming
moment, whether it be one more or your last.

Your foundations crumbling, you stumble on,
seeking to stride confidently as you search out the now
and the soon to be. The future will come, and you
will be there. Seeking truth, seeking yourself, and
most of all, seeking reality as it truly is for all.

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2003-08-04 07:48 PM

Hi there... this poem seems to encompass what it is to be a young person, searching for themselves, what they believe, what is right, esc... in a world that's troubled and uncertain. There's the whole military/soldier aspect I picked up, but I'm thinking of it as symbolism. Maybe I'm wrong... heh.. I probably am wrong, but I try!

I'm not good with titles either, but I'd probably call this one "Seeking".

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (08-04-2003 07:49 PM).]

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

2 posted 2003-08-06 11:23 PM

yes this seems a poem of
growing....and seeing differently

kinda scary, huh?

this is good PIL

and true reality?
the only one you know already

your own

title?
shrug..that is personal too

nice job man

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2003-08-07 12:45 PM

My intial reaction involves something along the lines of slightly disarming, which is good. I especially love the line "you brandish your weapons against yourself".

Welll....

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