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scotch on the rocks...
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scotch on the rocks... |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA 
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stars overflow from this paper cup dreams commanding the helm of my thoughts tears numbing the open wounds it has been lifetimes i swore... i mean i thought... i was over you emotion was never my best subject in school nor was actually facing you... fire is my element yet i prefer scotch on the rocks to tell you & your memory to *censor* off If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. [This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (07-30-2003 01:00 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
stars overflow from this paper cup dreams commanding the helm of my thoughts =========================== fire is my element yet i prefer scotch on the rocks to tell you & your memory to *censor* off ====================== love the imagery in this...the surreal essence of it..till you hit the reality of the last lines...perfect use of impact to close this out. well done poetess  "How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you." |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I loved the imagery and the language that you used, I really enjoyed reading it Andy |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
You know what? I really like this. The way that you conveyed everything into a neat little package is just awesome  Great job! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ceinwyn! You attended a school that taught emotion? Do they sell courses via mail? Excellent write! |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Hell yeah, couldn't have said it better. grrrrrrrr, ugh, people eh? Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is one of those "to my ex" poems that I tend not to care about, but I don't want to let that ruin it for me. I like how you opened the poem, an unusual couple of words, nice imagery there. As for the ending, why do you want to push away memory when it's all you have left? I think the good memories should be embraced, not cast aside just because they happen to reflect something that no longer can be. Eh, just my two cents... Nice write... Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I like how you crack the poem in the head at the end. "Take that," the words say. |
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