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The sinking ship
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The sinking ship |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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There is a poetry in loss. Something you've worked for swept away. The sails no longer catch wind, but waves. The deck is finally clean, drifting to the deep. Riggings whip and snap where no one can see them whip and snap. The sun is the ceiling; it mottles the floor. Bubbles like pearls aggregate, dissipate. Sail swaddled wreck, breathing the sea. The light is the ceiling that never collapses. High tide; low tide, hard to see the change from here. Swim away, sway. Sway, swim away. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Strange. I've sat here and tried to think of another way to reply, something more, but all that sticks in my mind is strange (which is good). |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I *like* this. Here: "Riggings whip and snap where no one can see them whip and snap." and here... "High tide; low tide, hard to see the change from here." These two stanzas gave me a very interesting perspective of my images/interp. of the whole piece. Very nice, I like. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
damn I read this.... without even seeing the title and I read it thinking -sinking ship- and I went abstract thinking about the slow motions of it...such deliberate dancing I came back and quickly checked the title... laugh I LIKE this 'un |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This was incredibly enjoyable to read, I was just swept away by the language that you have used and the mood that you have captured. Thanks for sharing this with us  Andy Rawr, rawr, rawr |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
High tide; low tide, hard to see the change from here. aye |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Again you caught your title perfectly with your poem. As in something I read by you just very recently you use the word "poetry" to mean something in your poem. I'd like to know what your definition of that word is? "Poetry?" What is the "poetry" in loss? Is it the strange irony of something built to conquer the sea, instead being conquered by the sea itself? I know you're speaking of loss and not simply of a sinking ship but, still, that much can be said for loss... something taken for granted being not only lost, but taken away violently by some undermined force... Oh yeah... another one that really makes me think. Thanks for it as always Mr. Chmielecki. Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Simply put, loss lends itself to writing poems. |
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