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brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2003-08-01 01:20 AM

ink tree

   on paper sky

the rain
    runs
turns
         hands gray

no bird
blesses
nor
          hears
            it's voice

it sings only

    to the ink stone
        bled
     down
to it's base

memory's tablet
etched
with drying shadow

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-08-01 06:58 AM

ink tree

on paper sky
======================

oh.. I love that image.....
I have a b&w pic of just that...
you nailed it with 5 words...
very cool poet sir.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-08-01 07:38 AM

sculpting again...

This is beautiful bri...

I want to draw this now.

sighs and kisses.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-08-01 09:58 AM

wow...I realy can't say anything

insanity is not a crime

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2003-08-01 01:02 PM

Beautiful and desolate, yet imbued.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2003-08-01 02:10 PM

Brian...you truly are an artist,
and this?...a amazing work of art.

I love how you always 'show' me,
rather than 'tell' me...

Love this, Brian.

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

6 posted 2003-08-01 09:33 PM

Such beautifully descriptive simplicity. I enjoyed the image this painted. It made me think of an artist in a Japanese garden.

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

7 posted 2003-08-02 12:26 PM

thank you everybody

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

8 posted 2003-08-02 02:35 AM

Like Nicole said....Japanese caligraphy.

Nice, nice, nice!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

9 posted 2003-08-02 10:53 AM

Wonderful writing Brian, I truly enjoyed reading this beautiful poem

Andrew

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (08-02-2003 10:53 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

10 posted 2003-08-02 03:43 PM

it sings only

    to the ink stone
        bled
     down
to it's base

bloody brilliant through and through

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

11 posted 2003-08-08 03:37 PM

I like the greyness of the rain on the paper sky... perfect, how you slowly described the paper being stained grey by the rain, the "drying shadow" defacing the beautiful tree of ink and giving it a new permanent form...

I often have a hard time appreciating your poetry but this time, it wasn't the case at all... I believe I felt this in its full. Thanks for sharing with us, Mr. Sites.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2003-08-08 03:58 PM

Why in the world
did the image of
Citizen Kane come
to mind?

Oh never mind, now
you've got me rambling
questions to myself...

If I keep reading you
enough, pretty soon
you'll have me singing
like serenity...

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

13 posted 2003-08-08 04:26 PM

For what it's worth, I liked this. I can feel it from the first line to the very last.

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