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brushing away (ok LP, here is 501!!! LOL)
| Poetic Haven |
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brushing away (ok LP, here is 501!!! LOL) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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I brushed away the dirt that had stuck on my coat wanting to ward them off: dark shadows of time passed they collected themselves in small heaps of black dust smearing their crooked hues upon some holy ground at last I have managed to get them off my skin the tinge of dirt is gone but stains of them remain [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (06-19-2003 07:19 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nice metaphor, Sudhir - Our life experiences do leave their mark, don't they? Well penned, m'friend...  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes..a nice use of metaphor.. those stains do however make us who we are... and help us be who we would... enjoyed this my friend... well done! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
It's an OK metaphor, kind of simple, definitely no "Lanes of Cacti..."  quote: That's a really cool stanza. Crooked hues upon some holy ground... love how you worded that. Time past will always be with you, but that's OK isn't it? You don't always have to wear the jacket that has stains on it. Try taking a stroll in the buff... who's going to see stains that way? (and yes, I am expanding on your metaphor, and yes, I am giving serious advice) Nicely written Sudhir... great to have you with us here in Sanctuary! 501... woo!!  Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
smearing their crooked hues upon some holy ground ============================== how very cool is that imagery & personification. As said before...your worked this metaphor to poetic perfection. Cool write Sud. great to have you come play in Sanctuarys sandbox No matter what the differences |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks a lot Nan, my friend... Ron, you are absolutely correct on the advice my friend, thanks... LP, I know what you mean... not everything can be Lanes of Cacti and I appreciate your wonderful advice as well... I haven't been at PiP enough to do the wanderings of late... I blame it squarely on the increase on the workload that I have seen (which is a good thing, else I could be fired ) ... I do hope to be around more often... Many thanks for your words... is a pleasure to read you, alwaysAh, brilliant Janet, thanks for the cool... hope your b-day was well enjoyed... Thanks to all and many regards too, Sudhir |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Nice stains, Sudhir! LOL, I do enjoy the way you look at life. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
at least if I wore a coat I could just take it off and leave the stains elsewhere... nice writing as always, Sudhir hugs M |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Take a bath! lol! J/K But anyway, I must add to the list of praises for this metaphor. I love metaphors! Life leaves marks, but I guess it's better to be 'dirty' and live than to be stainless and know nothing. It's good to see you around. Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank you all so very much... Regards Sudhir |
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