Poetic Haven |
Forgiving The Rationalization |
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I saw myself in my mirror darkened patches blackened orbits My doctors say it's better scarred surfaces blurred memories I stare into this brightened future knowing I lost my right to love so many years before this time Grounded by my youthful crime dying under those above I stare into my darkened past I see him stand before me blackened patches darkened orbits He says it's better I want to believe My brother desire will kill us all I've opened the wound and disease is soon to come 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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© Copyright 2003 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is powerful and touching, Frac... difficult to interpret, of course, but I think that actually adds a lot to the poem by giving the reader more of an ability to relate to the general sense of self-forgiveness, of looking back on one's own past self and trying to see if it's "getting better" or not. It's sad that you're pessimistic about the future for yourself, Fractal. I'd offer some words of encouragement if I knew exactly what this poem referred to, but I don't. Maybe I'll just talk to you later about it? I like the style this is written in. It's a good example of the simplicity and bluntness that makes dark poetry so effective, which is exactly why I could never write it myself... the last stanza is perfect and complete, the repeated lines well-selected... overall this is an outstanding poem and deserves more than zero replies. Glad I took the time to read. Talk to you later, Kev. Brian Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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