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Epilogue ... Fade To A Whiter Shade of Empty ... Duet with Capt. Ron
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Epilogue ... Fade To A Whiter Shade of Empty ... Duet with Capt. Ron |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Epilogue Inside this poet's heart lie words that beg bleed of rhymed release. Voices whisper long beyond the night of pain that seems to never cease. Yet this pen remains a breathless silent ... has my muted muse now come of age? Verses remain unwritten, chaining poet and pen to the blank chasm born upon barren page. No bridge of phrase to span The distance from soul to written word I find my mind in stammer speak Pale thoughts of being heard That fade so quick into the white Of blank and empty line That it is e'en before each stroke of pen I know they can't be mine. I plead of pen and muse ... grant this breath of written refrain. Might I again, stain the page with rhymes of merciful sustain. Of tears unwept on canvas stark, of promises unkept smothering inspiration's spark, silent swept confessions whispered into the dark. It is then in the very end to truths I fight then make amends but with their light I also see there is no more a poet in me. ~~~~~ Thank you Ron, for humoring me very moody mothy muse.  [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (05-22-2003 08:57 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Well now. As to which witch is which? I detect (methinks) an almost every other line...I venture a guess that this was so, and the Cap started... second verse tho? I wanna say two by two, starting with Cap again. Third verse, now starts with Jan. First four lines, and methinks the last three, belong to Ron. Then? Final verse...hmmm...Jan, Jan, Cap then Jan?  How bad did I do? and hey--that might not be my final answer, but the only friends I can think to call are THEM.  and if ya don't wanna fess up? E me--this is driving me nuts! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron and Janet Marie You guys together make some kind of wonderful...maybe your muses should get hitched...seems they have no problem writing together. Can you tell I liked this?  |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
"no more a poet in me" Yeah uh-huh right Very somber poem and styles that are swirled more than blended made for a very interesting read. Hugs Janet, give your muse some coffee I'm sure it will perk her up! I would give Ron a hug too but I'm afraid he'll pat my behind again |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wide Grin. I figgered the only way to find out for sure was to venture a guess...But I have to say, you two certainly adjusted to each other accordingly! Just for the record folks, I was WAY wrong. and now, this just proves my point, too "Cap"--You've been saying all along that you can't do rhyme and look at this. Hmmm. (serenity narrows eyes) Y'prolly dance like Fred Astaire too...mmmhmm.  (sorry, was just picturing that)and this IS a lovely blend, like a good scotch whiskey and turkish tobacco. You two meld and complement the other. Shaking my head and grinning. My hat is off to you both in admiration. Jan? Y'did it m'twin! And I'll just bet you could get him to dance too! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
quote: This is obviously my mothy girl talking here. I can call that style a mile away. Although, Ron has surprised me before, hasn't he?The last stanza is Ron, I think, and again I have to say Ron really surprises me with his natural command of meter... I'm starting to really doubt what you said about being "not a poet" when it comes to structure, Ron. Nicely done you two... another poem about writer's block, which leaves the subject matter is yawn-inspiring, but it's still neat to see how your styles worked together. Maybe, Ron... just maybe... Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks to all of you for the replies! Now the truth: JM began this poem and agonized over the deatils and edits, doing the thinking and image setting for the piece which I just tried to follow... our Mothy one...does not give enough credit to her talent and or to her ability to write, even when she feels she is forcing it... None of this piece would have worked without her understanding of the intent and an unwavering conviction of what she wanted to say... Hats off to you Mothy one.. Now..Seaofokc... you know you liked me patting your butt.. LOL LP.. after having been called the duet whore you tell me maybe, just maybe? Hmmmm... didn't your momma tell you not to keep the company of whoress and such? Why oh why would you even consider at this point? LMAO |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I think that this just proves Ron IS CAPABLE of rhyme and meter... someone just has to take the lead as Janet has. Nicely done! M |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling at Ron's comments--it's true, Jan does not just write poetry--she gives BIRTH. and yes, it's about time she give herself a little credit! and the Cap? Well I wouldn't call him a whore, but gawd, you ARE easy! (to write with I mean, of course,  )love you both.  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You guys sure know how to make a moth smile.... Ya all got me cracking up here.... Give birth??? YEP BREEECH... my muse makes me work for it all. LOL Well KA...I see Ron filled ya in on your guesses...and the fact that you thought my words could have been his is a great compliment...and hopefully will show him hes a rhymer too. So now... thank you to Ron, for your patience and for putting up with my wishy washy muse.. the whole reason I signed up for the duets was to try and get my muse to write more often, and write spontaneously...the writers block I seem to constantly be fighting has been winning, so I thought the duets would be a good way to lighten the muse up...but she held fast and it did feel like I was forcing it...but you kept making me look at the verses and turned my own words on me LOL Heck...I'll even forgive ya for editing out my alliterations hahaha And as always.. you dont take enough credit for your role. I'm not falling for your "I cant rhyme routine" ( ooopps another alliteration) haha you do just fine. Thank you to all for stopping in and reading. I'm looking forward to the other duets still to be posted.  I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
First, I am amazed JM how quickly you were able to write this duet when exposed to Rons techniques. Have to admit, this worked better than I thought it would. Not that I didn't have faith in ya'll just that your styles are so far apart on the poetry spectrum in my head, that I wondered it you could write together and have it read as if written by one hand. And you did. Credit to both of you. And an extra gold star for you JM just for writing with him!! Your penance for some mothy misdeed perhaps? Seriously, as I read, I quickly forgot that you both had written this. I heard one voice. Of course I recognize both of your signatures, though it's blended so well, it's difficult to say precisely who wrote what, whether it be lines, verses, words or editing. (Though I can spot Rons editing pretty well...lol) Honestly Jams, a better poem than you think it is. Quit being so difficult and read this as you would someone elses poem. It rocks! I have spoken... [This message has been edited by Duncan (05-22-2003 10:40 PM).] |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
BTW...since that response is about 20 times longer than most my poems JM, I figure that oughtta pay up my tab!!!! [This message has been edited by Duncan (05-22-2003 10:14 PM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Well ya look what porch puppy the cat drug in LOL Duncan??? is that you??? No..cant be...its his clone who HAS an attention span yayaya' Ok...where is the blonde Duncan we know and love???? the Duncan we know dont talk like this just that your styles are so far apart on the poet spectrum LOL... SPECTRUM?? thats a big word for a porch puppy heh As for Rons techniques.. WHO told you he exposed something??? Do you have any witnesses? This moth dont kiss and tell hahaha Yes,,, the poem is what it is due to Rons editing ... he should have edited me right out of it LOL as for that tab of yours..... NICE TRY,,,but you got a poetic bar bill owed to me like a St Bernard and the whole gang at Cheers heh( thanks Dunc) |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Almost forgot...Ron, next time you hijack the moth for a day, mind leaving me a note? Though I gotta admit, it was nice and quiet around here... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hmm...very nice, you two. I am suitable impressed by the level of not only the choice of theme but also the level of audience capitivation you manage to hold. Normally I lurk and read so this was a nice one to come out of the shadows to reply for. Thanks for posting it. I definitely enjoyed every word. ~AF~ I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
AF .. thank you so much for you kind words, so nice to see you here. Thank you for letting us know you enjoyed this. Come lurk in haven more often..the shadows move slower here...join us love you sig line-- lol and Ron? you gonna let ROSS the porch puppy get away with using all those big words he cant spell?? LOL Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
JM... the porch puppy told me the other day he had finally figured out what a dictionary was used for... surprised me all to heck until he told me how he used it.... those big words he's been using must have rubbed off on him like the ink from the old Sears catalog used to in an out house... LOL |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Imagining Cpat and a hitched up moth... beggers the mind... ah, if you don't mind would you two duet again? Soon? NOW? PUHLEEZE? |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Well.. the Moth has or had a free verse I began..and she hasn't added to it...so I'm assuming we are waiting on her for the free verse version of a duet... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
 YA MEAN I HAVE TO WRITE AGAIN???? Another poem in the same WEEK???? hahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahaha Oh Capt..you are so funny... lmao My muse--->  (besides, Duncan would get a headache having to reply again so soon)  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
No JM.. you don't have to write..just crawl back up on the porch with Duncan and you two slackers sit and watch for a while until you get brave again... we all understand you have hung out with Ross so long he has rubbed off on you.. LMAO and as for your muse... kick her in the butt and tell her to quit laughing. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ouch...thats a low blow.... Im a moth...not a porch puppy... now ya got me having fleas??? LMAO OH..by the way... your slacker reverse Psychology aint working on me moody muse hahaha Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
your moody muse don't need no stinking psychology reversed or forward...she needs to be kicked in the hiney and simply TOLD to cooperate.. she'll kick and scream.. pout and whine... even try to tell you that you belong on that porch with the Dunc puppy... and as long as you let her she is gonna sit there and laugh at ya.... lmao.... It isn't the muse who refuses to work at it now is it?????? you and Ross... I swear... you sure you two ain't related????? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Hmmmm... well, my dad did go on bizness trips up east a lot back years ago ROFL... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'(besides, Duncan would get a headache having to reply again so soon)' It will be a cold day in.... before I put my heart and soul into another sincere response to the likes of you two! (Note missing smilie) |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Oh yeah...NOW ya'll go on your 3 day weekend. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, I think it's obvious how this was written. JM wrote the rhyming lines and Ron wrote the rest! Who could not figger that out? The result was dynamite! Hats off to ya both  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Is it Tuesday yet? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Well, DUNCAN may have difficulties with regular replying... but suthern has no such hangups... just needed to be pointed in the right direction. *G* Verses remain unwritten, chaining poet and pen to the blank chasm born upon barren page. No bridge of phrase to span The distance from soul to written word I find my mind in stammer speak Pale thoughts of being heard But I read this and think you both need to be taken out behind the woodshed for a thrashing... cause you're both fibbers to the nth degree about what you can and can't do. *G* This is yummy. *G* (now how's that for using the ole dictionary??? LOL) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Michael ... thank you for your so very kind reply, sorry I took so long to say so...you must have replied to this while I was away from the forums with out of town company.TY groovy guy Ruth... LOL ... ummmm...you better be careful...we might enjoy a good spanking rofl ... thank you so much for the yummy the moth understands words like that. So nice to have you here in Sanctuary with us...I find its a nice place to read at night when sleep eludes me. Lots of treasures hidden here .TY Ruthie-girl. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
This was very, very nicely done. I must admit that I am not up on everyone's styles as much as others on here... I will say that if the two of the poets write like that together, I have GOT to start reading them separately. Great job both. Day after day I'm more confused, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thank you Ringo...such a lovely thing to say. So nice to have you stop by and read...glad you enjoyed. thanks to ALL who shared your thoughts on this dueting of moody muses thanks again to Ron for all he inspires in me. Im still imagining your voice ... |
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