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Puppy’s Dream
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Puppy’s Dream |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind 
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Puppy’s Dream Watch your step, my dear puppy. You think you are on high Climbing the tree away from me, But then you look up the sky Trying to catch the moon, Only to find the moon is too far away, Falling down on the ground with a sob. Watch your step, my dear puppy. Can you lend me an attention tonight? I walked around for twenty years, But I could never identify my footprints. I studied around for twenty years, Yet I still don't know what's right. Puppy tells me I'm not far away- From the light. I hope I can be carefree with the moon. The moon is but a seemed fantasy, of a trick. People say catch, catch the moon, I say catch, catch my breath. Breathing with the flowers near, Observing the moon from down below, A better day I have than touching the moon. But I'm not carefree with the moon. Once in a while I will want to fly To the moon and sit on the cloud, To hear the wind sing in ensemble And the sky to change its hue as my hat. Once in a while I will have feet off the ground, And fly to mysterious land of dreams. (c)April 29, 2003 Eliza Simmons Eliza Simmons |
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| © Copyright 2003 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
THIS is a REALLY cool poem... wow, I love the concept, "puppy's dream," the title put the most adorable image in my head and the soothing words of your poem were just sweet... overall I think this poem is very, very creative, definitely my favourite from you so far, and another one of yours that I'm putting in my library. Just because I like your imagination... Oh and on the critique side, I think you used the word "moon" a little too much.  Either way, thanks for the great read... Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
People say catch, catch the moon, I say catch, catch my breath. Breathing with the flowers near, Observing the moon from down below, A better day I have than touching the moon. But I'm not carefree with the moon. Once in a while I will want to fly To the moon and sit on the cloud, To hear the wind sing in ensemble And the sky to change its hue as my hat. ===================================== This is a very unique write...you've got some wonderful images and personifications. I could see this one being illustrated for a childrens book. I love the theme of the moon and all the ethereal images, and the line I bolded above is so cool...a very creative image and personifi. Well done poetess Eliza.  Im still imagining your voice ... |
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