Dangerous Liaisons (repost)

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Dangerous Liaisons (repost)

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2003-04-07 12:41 PM

You label me a liar
because I question,
not only you but us all.
I try and stay sober,
to label you a coward.
Who's winning in the end?
The coward breathing
or the liar ceasing?
Why bother staying sober?
Can we truly change?
My belief in dreams is fading,
fading into my crevice of despair;
for I label you a liar.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2003-04-07 06:20 AM

Great work Titus

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-04-07 11:12 AM

I don't really like this poem, Titus. I think you neglected a lot of the style I'm used to seeing from you and regressed into a more simplistic use of form and language... the result is a decent concept for a poem done without as much style as it could have had. If you choose to revise this, you should draw it out a little more, make stanzas, use creative language and poetic technique to enhance it...

Sorry man, but I have to be honest with you, you understand... it's because I do respect you enough to tell you how I really feel.

Parasite

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-04-12 06:53 PM

(sigh) Oh Daniel, I hope this situation is behind you now, dearest friend, I noticed this was a re-post and only hope now the lies have been cleansed away and the truth has made way! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

4 posted 2003-04-12 11:16 PM

I'm on the fence with this one. I liked it for what I took away from it, but I am interested to know the inspiratiion behind it.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

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