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Poetic Haven

the wife

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2003-04-11 05:34 PM

sitting there yelling
my dream is realized now
i love my husband

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2003-04-12 04:29 PM

Oh.

~Liz

Waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you..
~Mr. Big

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-04-13 01:07 AM

This is sad, or bitingly sarcastic, or realistically ironic... that's why the tiny formats are fun - they're so unclear that they're difficult to read.

I remember when you used to dot all your poetry with senryus here or there... in fact, I remember ripping that off a few times myself.

It's good to see you in this line of poetry again.

Parasite

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2003-04-13 12:55 PM

Thanks for the comments guys. Yeah, I guess I wrote this as a senryu because it's so much of an observation/pausing and reflecting type poem. Glad I pulled off the sarcastic irony I intended.

BTW, like your William Blake quote, LP.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

4 posted 2003-04-13 04:42 PM

I just loved this, great writing.

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