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Another Holy Sonnet [Repost from Corner Pub]
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Another Holy Sonnet [Repost from Corner Pub] |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I decided to post this again here. It didn't seem to interest many people in the pub. I hope my sonnets aren't THAT boring!  My five-year scar still burns intense with pain, my soul remains a tattered deformed beast whose journeys are told throughout the west and east and still I lead a normal life in vain. I know that western place where my innocence was slain, wherein my faith in God was smashed and ceased to be my guide as guilt and pain increased and I received my own hateful disdain. But now I trust and have again my faith, and so I'll try to be a righteous man. But still the painful worries attack and scathe my lowly soul that from God's kindness ran. And so my life goes on and still I fight against the waves of my past stormy night. "If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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| © Copyright 2003 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Sonnet eh? Haven't read one by you. I have to say, structurally, I think you could do a lot more work towards making this as good a sonnet as possible. Remember the iambic pentameter is important, try not to abandon it so frequently or the flow could be harmed (and I believe that it was). As for content, well, those 5 years are more than most people take to find God, so you should be proud of yourself for at least having an educated and tried faith, as opposed to a blind and unwavering one. As for me, Augustine couldn't restore my faith and Descartes is trying at the moment, so we'll see how that pans out. Aside from the structural failings, nicely written, Frac. This deserves at least one reply.  Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I agree with you on your assessment. If my latest piece is of any indication, my skill in writing with a strict form is improving. For that I must thank my writing course that I'm in, as it has encouraged in me a sense of obligation and even duty toward *perfection*. I'd say this sonnet reflects the closing portion of my age of casual vague meter. BTW, I read A Window, as you may have seen. I think you ought to submit it for Reflections. "If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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