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Valley Blue with Bodies High
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Valley Blue with Bodies High |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
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Turn to the high peaks, pristine purity envied by debased minds, free from strife and worldly infections. Turn, o learned man, to those high peaks. Look to that lost horizon, with valleys blue and peaks of white, minds free and bodies weak. Bodies weak, yet bodies strong. Please, o brother, do they true? Dost the Mahatmas live in Valley Blue? Communications through borderlands, inner development, so high to pray. Power of the red poison death, freedom lost, yet minds still free. Or are they free? Body counts rise, see now this valley stained by bodies high! How do they dare? Beauty not theirs, staunch obstruction of etheral pursuits. One nine five o, what loss. What loss! Freedom come, o freedom come to Valley Blue. [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (02-27-2003 11:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
 [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (02-22-2003 03:24 AM).] |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Slow, slow times for Sanctuary. It's OK, here I am... we can rejoice now.  Titus, I like this concept... between you, Fractal and I, there seems to be an apocalyptic theme about Sanctuary lately, doesn't there? First your use of "dost." Wrong use. The "st" is only applicable in a second-person tense.... such as, "Dost thou know of a blacksmith in this village?" or "Thou dost fight with great valour" or some such thing... http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1273947 usual, everything2 knows all about archaic english. Click here. After that I praise your unusual style here... I like the language you've used, the way you've described states of history and present by use of landforms, from the perspective of someone capable of looking around and seeing everything from his vantage spot. I like the correlation of freedom and the primitive... it's similar to the point I was making in "Fish," so I'll just say, I'm glad you agree. Bodies high is interesting, when you take into account the fact that this valley we're in is becoming less and less a valley because of the stacks of bodies being piled. Rather morbid, but very true... we work towards paradise but it brings only hatred and war, so what kind of paradise is this? I doubt we are going to be able to move backwards in time, but I admire your ideals, Titus. Well done. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. ~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (02-27-2003 06:10 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
It's a gift to watch you progress poetically, Titus. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm glad you decided to submit this Titus. Your progess as a poet is noticable and I'm very proud to vote for this poem.  |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Got my vote! Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you...... |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
me likes...  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work Ti |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Great work..much enjoyed! ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thanks ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) I too am here, dearest friend, Sanctuary is such a slow place and I just had to read this as I too wish we could retrograde, though of course we can't do a smooth clean cut back and I only pray we can go back to when the tuition was nilche and the mission statement was written with a quill pen! (sad sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Interesting poem. You seem to be conveying a message that one cannot be strong both in body and mind, but only in one of the two. Am I correct in my interpretation of lines like "minds free and bodies weak. / Bodies weak, yet bodies strong." ? Also, what is the purpose of the numbers 195? Or is it 1950? In any case, I enjoyed reading this poem. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
It's Nineteen Fifty.... [1950] With this poem, I was writing a piece about Tibet, and Tibetan Buddhism... something that's close to my heart. If anyone here has done some studying on that area, some my symbolism will make more sense. That said.... a lot of what LP had to say about the poem was on target, if you will, as well. I was writing both about the struggle of the Tibetan people, and about war in general... like I've said, I tend to write about human nature, and this piece was a mixture of all three of those elements. ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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